Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
Studying means: to text, to eat and to watch TV with an open book neatby. — Michael Angelo De Leon Copy Share Image
THAT MINI HEART ATTACK You get when you realize you forgot to do your homework — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I respect a woman's decision to undergo plastic surgery to go from being ugly to being ugly & disgusting. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Revenge was an expensive sport. The question was always whether the prize was worth the ticket.” — Janus Lucky Copy Share Image
When I was growing up they used to say, "Robin, drugs can kill you." Now that I'm 58 my doctor's telling me,… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
“I found this, though," Gazzy said excitedly, holding up a small green box. "Gas-X! Like, 'X' for explosion! This is great! I'm… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
Unfortunately, once I did learn to smoke, I couldn't stop. I escalated to two packs a day very quickly, and stayed that… — Kirk Douglas Copy Share Image
I know it sounds funny, but every time I have a disaster in the kitchen, it knocks my confidence level a little… — Lesley Nicol Copy Share Image
“Charlie?' 'Uh-huh?' 'Do you like me?' 'Uh-huh.' 'You know what I mean?' 'Uh-huh.' 'Are you nervous?' 'Uh-huh.' 'Don't be nervous.' 'Okay.” — Stephen Chbosky Copy Share Image
Bilingualism is not an imposition on the citizens. The citizens can go on speaking one language or six languages, or no languages… — Pierre Trudeau Copy Share Image
“Jem gave her a wistful look. “Must you go? I was rather hoping that you’d stay and be a ministering angel, but… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
When you mess up a guy's hair, he thinks it's cute. But when you mess up a GIRL'S hair... I hope you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies call me Subway because I've got low-quality meat and lie about being six inches! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you pose nude for your art teacher and you flunk the course. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When we no longer seek God for His blessings, we have time to seek Him for Himself. — Oswald Chambers Copy Share Image
Question: How much do you have to invest in the future before you've spent it and no longer have one? — Mark Steyn Copy Share Image
I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
Sailors, with their built in sense of order, service and discipline, should really be running the world. — Nicholas Monsarrat Copy Share Image
There's no place like home. Especially when we're talking about The best place to take a shit. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It's a miracle when we finally discover whom we're best equipped to serve. — Fred Rogers Copy Share Image
Wanna know something cool! press +w to get a thumbs up from ur compuetr screen — Drummer Copy Share Image
When our bed is made, it's covered in 40 pillows-like we're stockpiling ammo for the global pillow fight. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
A natural sponge is not as funny. A square sponge also fit that squeaky-clean idea I was going for. — Stephen Hillenburg Copy Share Image
I cannot, in good conscience, allow money to be wasted on a failure. — Winston Groom Copy Share Image
I hate when someone is about to tell you something but then says never mind. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Is there any good news?' Tesla said. Who ever promised that? Who ever said there'd be good news?” — Clive Barker Copy Share Image
We don't all agree on everything. I don't agree with myself on everything. — Rudy Giuliani Copy Share Image
I promise, I am sorry and I love you all have eight letters , but so does BULLSHIT — Anonymous Copy Share Image
...clatter of a typwriter suggests that you're actually building something. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Imagine having journalists in your own home and not even covering the furniture with plastic sheets first. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
“She actually wants to spend more time with me? I’m beginning to wonder if she’s as crazy as I am…” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
