“I survived a divorce, no children and come to Paris three days per week. My cat ran away on a love adventure;… — Tionne Rogers Copy Share Image
“A crazy old lady, leading a band of teenagers against an angry supernatural Entity - who’da thought?” — Diane M. Haynes Copy Share Image
Normal person flirting: Hey babe(: what's goin on? Me flirting: Your face. I like that sh*t. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't know how to fix a car. If the car breaks down, and the gas tank does not say "E", I'm… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“I've always been a monster,' Scapegrace told her, 'but now, finally, my physical for reflects my inner darkness.' 'You smell terrible.' 'That's… — Derek Landy Copy Share Image
Figures often beguile me, particularly when I have the arranging of them myself; in which case the remark attributed to Disraeli would… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The things that make me laugh are considered smart or whatever, I guess. But stuff that's self-consciously intelligent or self-consciously hip or… — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
We are far more like somebody watching ourselves than somebody in charge of ourselves. — Richard Wiseman Copy Share Image
“Me mum always told me the rich was blessed, but I thought she was talkin' about gold." She leaned over to cackle… — Teresa Medeiros Copy Share Image
I often say if men were meant to fly we would have been born with either feathers and wings or at the… — John Zakour Copy Share Image
Here's no way I'm going to Jersey without my hair gel, can't leave without my gel. — Pauly D Copy Share Image
I am very uncomfortable being romantic. I can be funny; I can be all over the place. I can be anything but… — Amruta Khanvilkar Copy Share Image
