“That's right, bitch. Goldie Schwartz. And I'm not a fucking midget. I prefer the term 'fun sized'.” — Jaye Wells Copy Share Image
“don’t swill my best cognac. You must savour each drop.” “Savour like you do a man".” — Astrid Cooper Copy Share Image
The best comedy audiences in the country and this is tried and true, I'm not just saying it, in my opinion are… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
“If you're making love to a man of God, then God must endorse your lovemaking.” — Eileen Pollack Copy Share Image
I find any sort of acting that doesn't have any humor in it is mind-numbingly boring. — Andrew Scott Copy Share Image
“Then he stalked off into the woods, leaving Talaith alone. Good. Now I can panic in peace.” — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
“Campaigns and elections are the process in which democracy separates the willing from the able, and goes with the willing.” — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I thought 'RV' stood for 'Recreational Vehicle.' No! It stands for 'Ruins Vacations.' — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
“I pulled my suitcase out of the backseat of my bug, along with Cannoli's new travel case, a spiffy animal print pet… — Claire Cook Copy Share Image
“That is why I love Starbucks. It doesn't matter how much money you have or what social world you're from, chances are… — Kyra Davis Copy Share Image
“Chance likes to ride in back, standing up at red lights and pounding on the roof in (what he insists is) Morse… — Kelley York Copy Share Image
“Miss Langman was often, in interviews, described as a witty conversationalist; how can a woman be witty when she hasn't a sense… — Truman Capote Copy Share Image
“He tried to press the machine into my hands, but I stepped back. He was getting too close, and besides, I didn't… — Minfong Ho Copy Share Image
“Celibacy is the Tesla family secret, passed down through the generations.” “Celibacy, passed down through the generations?”Victor asked dryly. I flushed. “Its… — Vinnie Tesla Copy Share Image
I definitely don't take any of intrusions in my private life personally. You learn how to have a sense of humor pretty… — Christopher Bollen Copy Share Image
“Packing is one of those many things that I feel I know more about than any other person living. (It surprises me… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
“Hell’s bells. I don’t call him the Fist of God as a pet name, folks.” — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
