Humor Quotes · Page 91

One of the things that authoritarians hate is the sound of laughter.

— Milo Yiannopoulos

But comedy I'd love to do as much as humanly possible.

— Ben Kingsley

“Apathy? Apathy? I don't care about apathy.”

— Ana Pattacini

I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.

— Celeste Hartman

Laughter is the nourishment of our soul!

— Anonymous

“Wise is the fool who becomes a master at laughter.”

— Curtis Tyrone Jones

I love comedy; I'm very goofy and spontaneous.

— Victoria Justice

I always wrote risque comedy and crude comedy.

— Bob Odenkirk

Having sex without a condom is like riding a roller coaster with diarrhea. You can't just throw your hands up and enjoy…

— Adam Carolla

They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags.

— Frankie Boyle

“I’m warning you because you’re young and vulnerable. He’s a dirty, lying, conniving piece of shit and he’s dangerous.” Gottfried Baumauer.”

— Carla H Krueger

My first lessons in comedy, how to construct a joke, I learned from Eileen Brennan, who had unbelievable timing.

— Rob Lowe

“What she means is, I might look like a pussy but I'm really a badass demon.”

— Jaye Wells

A jest often decides matters of importance more effectively and happily than seriousness.

— Horace

And next time you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a little sweet talk works wonders.

— Cassandra Clare

Inside every fat person is a thin person struggling to get out. Sometimes as many as two or three.

— Rock Cowles

I'll get laughs in the places I don't want them and that makes me realize the direction I want to go in.…

— Baron Vaughn

Comedy as a genre is the one that has given me maximum success, and I do broadly get associated with this genre.…

— Riteish Deshmukh

“Half an hour later, each of them had been given a complicated circular chart, and was attempting to fill in the position…

— J.K. Rowling

I knew I wanted to be in comedy but the path of least resistance was doing stand-up in folk music clubs where…

— Steve Martin

“Real quick, African Booty Scratcher is probably the most specific and regional insult ever. As if Europeans, Americans, and Asians don’t scratch…

— Gabourey Sidibe

It's much easier for me to do an impression of someone real, because you and the audience begin with a baseline understanding…

— Kate McKinnon

“I just told them that dear Uncle Silas has gone away on a long journey," she said. "They're such mites, you know,…

— Georgette Heyer

“I’ll meet you tomorrow morning at ten in your office, and explain everything. In the meantime, go home and get some sleep.”…

— Christina Henry

Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning.

— Woody Allen

My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.

— Chic Murray

The dullness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.

— William Shakespeare

And how can you be happy if you don't laugh or appreciate humor?

— Mary L. Trump

Being famous on Instagram is like being rich on Monopoly.

— The Forgotten

“If you love something set it free or cripple it so it can't get away.”

— Van

I like to say it was born out of laughter.

— Byron Katie

“Forgive me, Father, but I'm not Catholic.”

— Lani Diane Rich

“You can change your mind, don't let your mind change you”

— Benny Bellamacina

The really important things are said over cocktails and are never done.

— Peter Drucker

“Hold on a second! Eternal chaos comes with chocolate rain, guys!”

— Pinkie Pie

I don't look at comedy as a sliding scale of offensiveness.

— Lee Mack

“Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes”

— Benny Bellamacina

Humor could not flourish in a wholly serious and rational atmosphere.

— Raymond Smullyan

“Dont allow a worthless bitch to cause you lose an irreplaceable queen”

— Prince simus

I think everything's funny, to be honest.

— Kelly Rohrbach