I didn't realize how much people liked to bash SNL until I was on. I've always just liked it, and I've always… — Andy Samberg Copy Share Image
“Got to go to dinner at my brother’s house tomorrow - my sister-in-law is having Lord Worplesdon.” (Quarry) “Steamed, boiled, or baked… — Diana Gabaldon Copy Share Image
“You know what your problem is? You got too many scruples. One or two is okay, but you get too many of… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
“Now, I want you to look at each other. Really look. And then I'd like you to each say something positive about… — Kristin Walker Copy Share Image
Better it is to say that the government most comfortable to nature is that which best agrees with the humor and disposition… — Baron de Montesquieu Copy Share Image
“Then on Sunday night while I’m at the computer checking to see if anyone’s online, my dad’s head appears in my doorway.… — John Green Copy Share Image
“How could I persuade the in-laws I was the right one for their daughter when, instead of focusing on small talk, all… — Jayde Scott Copy Share Image
In the 70s I started doing my Big Night Out on stage when I was at art school. A friend of mine… — Vic Reeves Copy Share Image
“You’re not the only one in this relationship who loves a challenge,” he says. “And just so you know for the future,… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
“I devised a sort of strategy for any sort of discussion that was over my head: I became the moderator. If you're… — Jancee Dunn Copy Share Image
“We?" Simon looked at him in disbelief. "Are you ever going home?" "What, bored with my company already?" "Let me ask you… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“I didn't really spend much time with anyone my own age during high school because I believed my true calling would be… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“I was only going to shoot you if he was in one band. And only if it had a name like Uncle… — Ellen Wittlinger Copy Share Image
“The doctors found out that Bunbury could not live, that is what I mean - so Bunbury died. He seems to have… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I don't have to change anything. I think that's the secret to comedy. You want to be universal and appeal to everyone.… — Kevin Hart Copy Share Image
He [Kenneth Branagh] is the nicest guy. He is absolutely fantastic. Hes really down to earth, really friendly, and he has a… — Emma Watson Copy Share Image
“No, no one thought that a spontaneous gang rape was going to take place just then on the stage of the Laugh… — Lindy West Copy Share Image
I didn't know how to grab your best material and put it together into a comedy set. I would just choose subjects… — Felipe Esparza Copy Share Image
“I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: Oh Lord, make my enemies ridiculous. And God granted… — Voltaire Copy Share Image
Does anyone actually think that Beckham knows he's in America? I think he just follows a football and all he notices is… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I am amused to see from my window here how busily a man has divided and staked off his domain. God must… — Henry David Thoreau Copy Share Image
You can't make Christ funny. He's self-aware, he's too flexible within the situation. It's rigidity, it's when the ego takes over and… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
To love women, to love our vaginas, to know them and touch them and be familiar with who we are and what… — Eve Ensler Copy Share Image
“What will i do without it ? ill die that's what. ill just…die!" "go on then. i dare you" I said. Jess… — Dave Hackett Copy Share Image
“The good guys fight for freedom, justice and most words that don’t put food on the table. The bad fight to scrub… — David Gunn Copy Share Image
“Clever isn't the same as sensible," said Susan, "and they do say that if you wish to walk the path to wisdom… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“My mouth was dry as cotton and my head hurt like hell. I tried to lift it, and the effort left me… — Charlaine Harris Copy Share Image
What's great about comedy, obviously, is that you set up a situation that people assume one thing and then you break the… — Bryan Cranston Copy Share Image
Something horrible happens and I try to make it funny. It's really a tortured life. You go to a salsa bar, at… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
It was - I'm very didactic in my lyrics, but I've always been drawn to mock my own emotions, and so I… — Tim Minchin Copy Share Image
“Who," coughed Zvonok, "do you think broke your favorite teacup last fall? The one with the cherries on the handle?" "I was… — Catherynne M. Valente Copy Share Image
“I've tried to get the angel to watch MTV so I can learn the vocabulary of your music, but even with the… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
In other places, especially in Boston, it's like a place where comedy gestates. People come out of there that are fantastic, but… — Baron Vaughn Copy Share Image
In the mid-1970s, there was this huge boom of stand-up comedy throughout North America. I went to see a show at a… — Howie Mandel Copy Share Image
“Dagmar faced the Iron, quickly bowed her head. “King Gaius, I’m sorry about the confusion. I’m Dagmar Reinholdt, Vassal of Garbhán Isle… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
“Most experts today subscribe to some variations of the incongruity theory, the idea that humor arises when people discover there's an inconsistency… — Joel Warner Copy Share Image
“It has been our experience that American houses insist on very comprehensive editing; that English houses as a rule require little or… — Jack McClelland Copy Share Image
I like to have a drink or two, but I cut down on that. It was getting a little out of control.… — Jordan Buckley Copy Share Image
“Trying to figure out why Radley’s such a horse’s butt is all." "It’s a course we take at the academy," that deep… — Trish Milburn Copy Share Image
“A jaw like a mastiff's, a frame like a giant's, eyes like two daggers, a smile like a tiger's snarl,"Bernard murmured. "Aye,… — Georgette Heyer Copy Share Image