John Cleese

“Frames of Mind,”

— John Cleese

What's the bleedin' point?

— John Cleese

Always start where the energy is.

— John Cleese

He who laughs most, learns best.

— John Cleese

My hovercraft is full of eels.

— John Cleese

I don't want to hurt people.

— John Cleese

The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip.

— John Cleese

It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor

— John Cleese

What I've always wanted to do is be as funny as possible.

— John Cleese

What have the Romans ever done for us?

— John Cleese

Bureaucrats shouldn't be in charge of comedy.

— John Cleese

The most creative people have this childlike facility to play.

— John Cleese

Tension is wonderful for making people laugh.

— John Cleese

I get bored easily. I've been bored most of my life.

— John Cleese

I think that money spoils most things, once it becomes the primary motivating force.

— John Cleese

If I can get you to laugh with me, you like me better, which makes you open to my ideas

— John Cleese

All humour is critical, you know? You make stupid jokes. I mean, stupidity is an infirmity, isn't it?

— John Cleese

To be creative you must create a space for yourself where you can be undisturbed... separate from everyday concerns.

— John Cleese

I can certainly see that you know your wine. Most of the guests who stay here wouldn't know the difference between Bordeaux…

— John Cleese

You have to create boundaries of space and then you have to create boundaries of time.

— John Cleese

But then acting is all about faking. We're all very good at faking things that we have no competence with.

— John Cleese

I think it takes a long time, as you get older, to realize just how crazy the world is, just how ridiculous…

— John Cleese

I would say that I began with a very edgy, very driven personality and after a sufficient amount of therapy over many,…

— John Cleese

I find the Alexander Technique very helpful in my work. Things happen without you trying. They get to be light and relaxed.…

— John Cleese

Political correctness is a bit like a granny, a maiden aunt arriving at a party when everyone's having a good time. And…

— John Cleese

I think that sometimes you do something that makes a small group of people laugh, which is all we were trying to…

— John Cleese

You go in and meet the head of BBC One and get an assurance about not dumbing down. And then, of course…

— John Cleese

Creativity is not an ability that you either have or do not have. It is, for example, and this may surprise you,…

— John Cleese

I had a very, very difficult relationship with my mother, who was supremely self-centred. She was hilariously self-centred. She did not really…

— John Cleese

You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him enter regional distribution codes in data field 97 to facilitate…

— John Cleese

We all operate in two contrasting modes, which might be called open and closed. The open mode is more relaxed, more receptive,…

— John Cleese

Although I had good hand-eye coordination, I was so tall and skinny and muscularly weak that I just was not well coordinated.…

— John Cleese

The real religion is about the understanding that if we can only still our egos for a few seconds, we might have…

— John Cleese

The one thing I remember about Christmas was that my father used to take me out in a boat about ten miles…

— John Cleese

Everything in comedy's got to be exactly right, which is why making a comedic film is kind of a difficult process, because,…

— John Cleese

Writing is the great skill, the creative skill. The acting is more an interpretative skill. And the thrill for me is the…

— John Cleese

Now most people do not want an ordinary life in which they do a job well, earn the respect of their collaborators…

— John Cleese

If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out…

— John Cleese

Well, the only way I can get a leading-man role is if I write it.

— John Cleese

And now for something completely different . . .

— John Cleese