“If you wish to serve me, as you have bloodsworn yourself to do, you must do so with honor. And that does… — C.L. Wilson Copy Share Image
“What the hell just happened? I mean, come on. Throwing in a hot looking demon with romantic intentions is so disturbing. It’s… — Karen Swart Copy Share Image
“There are always cats around Charlie's, but they are usually refugees seeking asylum from the local rat population, and rather desperately friendly.” — Robin McKinley Copy Share Image
“Wake up! Wake up! Soon the person you believe you are will die - so now, wake up and be content with… — Dan Millman Copy Share Image
“Mujo is a refugee in Germany, has no job, but has a lot of time, so he goes to a Turkish bath.… — Aleksandar Hemon Copy Share Image
I'm just looking to make good movies and looking to be as good as I can be in them and that's about… — Adam Sandler Copy Share Image
I was lucky that when Lorne Michaels came looking for women comedy writers, there werent too many in New York at the… — Anne Beatts Copy Share Image
We're all screwed up. And the way Christians mess things up is we act like we've got it going on. And if… — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
Laughter is unprovoked. It's such a natural thing. So I don't give myself rules around what I like and what I don't… — Robby Hoffman Copy Share Image
A girl asks her doctor, "Doctor, I've forgotten to take my contradictory pill!" The doctor says: "Are you ignorant?" The girl says:… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
“A lighthearted prayer for Thanksgiving: May you have turkey in season Cranberries for squeezin' Gravy (within reason) And leftovers worth freezin'! Amen… — Mary Beth Lind Copy Share Image
“Caw! Caw, Hartley, caw!" Chase narrowed his eyes again. "Sam?" I nodded. Then crossed to the window again and called down to… — Gemma Halliday Copy Share Image
I've talked to a lot of other women in the field of comedy and none of us feel like being a woman… — Samantha Bee Copy Share Image
Growing up, I didn't know anything about comedy and didn't know anything about comedians or what standup was. I grew up in… — Carlos Mencia Copy Share Image
But if you read Jane Austen, you know that she had a wicked sense of humor. Not only was she funny, but… — Seth Grahame-Smith Copy Share Image
“What I’ve come to find is that politics asks who is right, religion asks what is true, and nature asks nothing at… — Sam Loya Copy Share Image
I'd have to say that my favorite kind of film is serious comedy. Comedy with serious underpinning. 'Little Miss Sunshine' is like… — Alan Arkin Copy Share Image
Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office".… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“Did you save any?" Royce asked. "Any what?" "Of those eggs. If you did, we could cook them for breakfast in the… — Micheal J. Sullivan Copy Share Image
In terms of a comedy plan I don't really have a list of what I want accomplish. I'm just riding the wave!… — Doc Brown Copy Share Image
“I’ll bet he misses it.” “Almost as much as I miss him being on the road.” She frowned. “You don’t really mean… — Maisey Yates Copy Share Image
Many of the most successful men I have known have never grown up. They have retained bubbling-over boyishness. They have relished wit,… — B. C. Forbes Copy Share Image
I think, in comedy, you only hit about one or two great characters in your career. Sometimes my character will be just… — Julia Davis Copy Share Image
A foreigner visiting the United States thought 'oakie doakie' was the feminine of 'O.K.' Of course, he was mistaken. The feminine of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The smell slaps me sideways. Like when Mom grabs a container she forgot about from the back of the fridge and she… — Mick Bogerman Copy Share Image
Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. "Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
“Sorry,ʺ she said, her face shining with joy when she saw me. ʺShould have put a sock on the door. Didnʹt realize… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
“Cord followed up with, “I like it here, but it’s beginning to feel creepy. Does anyone else think it’s creepy?” “You’re talking… — Neal Stephenson Copy Share Image
“Give me the knife!" Simon held out his hand. Lincoln glanced over as he struggled with Albert. "Could you take it out… — Scott Mebus Copy Share Image
As Aboriginal people we have always retained our resilience, our humour and our cultural integrity - we will always retain our dreams… — Ken Wyatt Copy Share Image
“Mrs. Earwig said the village women know what to do,” said Annagramma hopefully. “She says to trust in their peasant wisdom.” “Well,… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
You can't have a bad time at Disney World. It's not allowed. They have hidden electronic surveillance cameras everywhere, and if they… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“On our last mission - our "final exam" - we were airlifted to a remote region, and we parachuted directly into a… — Mark Leyner Copy Share Image
Just for fun, I'm really goofy and I would love to do some stupid comedy. I'm talking, like, crazy, out there, Will… — Jaimie Alexander Copy Share Image
“New Rule: While you're telling me how your March Madness bracket is doing, you must also fill me in on your vacation… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A man is helping his wife make a password for the computer. He types in mypenis. The wife then starts laughing hysterically… — Brii Ann Copy Share Image
“Remember when only a few people had mobile phones. Generally regarded as an object of derision, you would occasionally see business types… — Simon Pegg Copy Share Image
“He flapped his mouth some more, and then shook himself awake, came to a decision, and starting sneaking huge, theatrical looks around… — Hugh Laurie Copy Share Image
My grandmother, grandfather, my mom - we've always been driven by laughter. It's what held us together. Thanksgivings, any kind of family… — Yelawolf Copy Share Image
Laurence Olivier said in an interview once that when he plays a tragedy he always aims for the funny parts, and the… — Christopher Walken Copy Share Image
