“I was used to shooting beer cans off the back of an old washing machine, or at things that ran away from… — Lisa Shearin Copy Share Image
I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper… — Paula Poundstone Copy Share Image
“Lady Middleton piqued herself upon the elegance and extravagance of her table, and all her domestic arrangements; she loved to surprise English… — Ben H. Winters Copy Share Image
“Silence, please? I'm trying to watch this documentary." Laurel nodded at The Bachelor. "I believe one of the females is about to… — Cara McKenna Copy Share Image
“Well. I think it's safe to say that, in my absence, the power grabbing and backstabbing and political intrigue has officially reached… — Lesley Livingston Copy Share Image
“Darlin’, the last time I walked into a mall was two presidents ago.” I stared at him in shock. Then I asked,… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
“At that moment I realised all the things I miss, all the fascinating stories I don't get to hear, because I refuse… — Andrej Nikolaidis Copy Share Image
“Well, I can't eat muffins in an agitated manner. The butter would probably get on my cuffs. One should always eat muffins… — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from… — Bob Newhart Copy Share Image
I love a girl with a sense of humor. Someone who can make me laugh and that I can get along with… — Logan Henderson Copy Share Image
“Tyler tested it himself and found he agreed with her. "We'll let it age a bit. A lot of things become what… — Nora Roberts Copy Share Image
“He told me things about himself that should have made him sound urbane but did the opposite. He told me, for example,… — Olivia Sudjic Copy Share Image
“O.K., then, all right, they would adopt a white-trash dog. Ha ha. They could name it Zeke, buy it a little corncob… — George Saunders Copy Share Image
“MEG (to Dante, the vampire):“Vampires aren’t as cool as I expected them to be. In romance novels, vampires are all dark and… — Sophie Oak Copy Share Image
People still talk about a British sense of humour, or French slapstick or how the Germans have no sense of humour -… — Eddie Izzard Copy Share Image
I never worry about people not taking my work seriously as a result of the humor. In the end, the comic's best… — Richard Russo Copy Share Image
“..sudden attack of culture snobbery is a common affliction among policemen of a certain rank and age; it’s like a normal midlife… — Ben Aaronovitch Copy Share Image
DAUGHTER what is marriage: MOM: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's a comedian, Paul Reiser, very funny. I remember reading his book when I first started comedy and I remember laughing like… — Nate Bargatze Copy Share Image
It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of… — H. L. Mencken Copy Share Image
“Love is like the human appendix. You take it for granted while it's there, but when it's suddenly gone you're forced to… — Reverend Jen Copy Share Image
“Give t a rest, already," Tod snapped from somewhere behind his brother. "It already smells like sex in here, and you're both… — Rachel Vincent Copy Share Image
“What are you eating?" he ask us. "Whatever won't kill me, please" I said. "Whatever don't kill you'll make you stronger" says… — Adam Selzer Copy Share Image
If I have a passion for anything, it's more the truth than politics, and I think that's what got me interested in… — Randy Rainbow Copy Share Image
“He smiled and squinted at me again, tilting his head up and to the right as he stared. “Maybe what I’m attracted… — Laura Anderson Kurk Copy Share Image
My comedy is for adults, but you can have your kids listen to it. They won't get all the jokes because hopefully… — Henry Cho Copy Share Image
“As an aspiring actress, having casual one-nighters, doing drugs and travelling to foreign locales at the drop of a dime was simply… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I can see that an insufficent, or perhaps even defective, socialization process has led you to believe that four-letter words add power… — Preston and Child Copy Share Image
'Sons of the Prophet' is a dark comedy about human suffering. The play explores the particularly messy portions of life - the… — Stephen Karam Copy Share Image
In comedy terms, usually when the weather's bad, it goes much better. When it's sunny, people don't come to see comedy gigs… — Julian Barratt Copy Share Image
“Maybe he does have a choice to make, but everything I feel, everything I know says absoloutely that choice will be you"… — J.D Robb Copy Share Image
Comedy is a wonderful device for distance that allows us to look at what we're talking about with some degree of distance… — Alexander Payne Copy Share Image
“I am happy to say that there is nothing to report." The guard's voice grew muffled as he bent to shrug off… — Matthew Jobin Copy Share Image
“MHARILYN: Naku, sobrang thank you po, talaga! URSULA: Bakit sobra? Hindi ba pwedeng eksakto ang--eksaktong thank you? Sayang naman yung sobrang hindi… — Bob Ong Copy Share Image
“My intellect, my wit—I’d forgotten I’d even possessed them, and they were dull and neglected, to be sure. But in the company… — Melanie Benjamin Copy Share Image
“It’s often said there’s no sense dwelling on the past, but David disagreed. Sometimes, there was nothing like a good old-fashioned sulk… — Daniel Thorman Copy Share Image
“Livie, I think you’re completely fucked up.” Chunks of cheesecake fly out of my mouth and splatter against the deck’s glass panel… — K.A. Tucker Copy Share Image
“Yes," Bitterblue said. "I suppose you could convert everything into minutes. Twelve times sixty is seven hundred twenty, and fifteen times fifty… — Kristin Cashore Copy Share Image
With my shows, when people come out, it's all ages. It's grandmothers to 9-year-olds. And it's not like I'm trying to do… — Nate Bargatze Copy Share Image
“I really loathe [the bumper sticker] 'Proud Parent of a Terrific Kid!' Why not a bumper sticker for the unlucky parents, something… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
![“I really loathe [the bumper sticker] 'Proud Parent of a Terrific Kid!' Why not a bumper sticker for the unlucky parents, something like: 'My Fifteen-Year-Old's in Detox and Not Speaking to Any of Us' or 'My Kid Robbed a 7-Eleven and is in a Center for Youthful Offenders.” quote by Celia Rivenbark](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/c89/celia-rivenbark-15261_bumper-sticker_i-really-loathe-the-bumper-sticker-proud_3109793.jpg)
