“Vivian, I'd like to give you my heart, but since that might be inconvenient I've brought you someone else's." "Rafe you jerk,… — Annette Curtis Klause Copy Share Image
“Personally, if I were trying to discourage people from smoking, my sign would be a little different. In fact, I might even… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Writing is not for me. I completely lose my sense of humor when I write. I become extremely pathetic, very sensational. Images… — Marjane Satrapi Copy Share Image
Dude. Post-apocalyptic world. Who does job applications anymore?” “I do.” I squint at it, then him. “What are you paying me?” I… — Karen Marie Moning Copy Share Image
“Sissy had two great failings. She was a great lover and a great mother. She had so much of tenderness in her,… — Betty Smith Copy Share Image
“Needy people are like newborns, I have come to realize. One intoxicated night and BAM! You are stuck with this problem. You… — Chase Brooks Copy Share Image
Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before.… — Aries Spears Copy Share Image
“You can't spell "parentry" without "try." Of course, you'll make a few mistakes. The important thing is that the mistakes you make… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
I think 'Piranha' won't be in the guilty-pleasure category, because it's gonna be - well, yeah, maybe for some people. From what… — Adam Scott Copy Share Image
“She was of traditional build herself, but her figure was largely concealed by the folds of a generously cut shift dress made… — Alexander McCall Smith Copy Share Image
My approach to comedy is that whenever it comes to me, I write it. With 'The Daily Show,' you have to write… — Ronny Chieng Copy Share Image
Most of my comedy writing happens through improvisation on stage; doing it in the moment. Going up with an idea and fleshing… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
“The cops got out of the car and came straight towards me. My first thought was, How hypocritical… They head straight for… — Bella Shadow Copy Share Image
“Are you mad?" I ask. "I was." He glances at the ceiling then back at me. "Or confused, anyway. The whole thing… — Jody Gehrman Copy Share Image
In high school, you re either a bully, a jock or a nerd, and I somehow tried to jump between camps by… — David Hewlett Copy Share Image
When I first started comedy, I didn't know about the alt scene and I just started doing open mics in Manhattan and… — Rachel Sennott Copy Share Image
There are three things in life which are real: God, human folly and laughter. Since the first two are beyond our comprehension,… — John F. Kennedy Copy Share Image
The only way I'd want to do something in television would be if it was about how I think as a comedian.… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
Comedy is one genre that I really want to come my way because I was loved for my funny character in 'Khiladi… — Himesh Reshammiya Copy Share Image
This morning the electricity came on for a few minutes, and when it did, Jonny said, "Hey, it's a black-on." This is… — Susan Beth Pfeffer Copy Share Image
“Doi indragostiti se sarutau sub un portal. - Nu vreau sa-i vad... Nu, nu vreau sa-i vad... Ma calca pe nervi... Colin… — Vian, Boris Copy Share Image
“We get a lot of calls where the person is murdered at home, but is not found for a period of time.… — Connie Fletcher Copy Share Image
There's a certain type of character that you can't help but come in contact with growing up and living in Brooklyn and… — Steve Buscemi Copy Share Image
“Fate had a cruel sense of humor. It had been all his fault, anyway, whatever Mick or Gillia told him. Careless preoccupation… — V.S. Carnes Copy Share Image
The Sopranos' is filled with really retrograde humor. Bathroom humor, falls, stupid puns, bad jokes - infantile, adolescent stuff, but it makes… — David Chase Copy Share Image
I remember seeing McCoy Tyner in concert, and thinking that the music was incredible, but wanting to be invited in. I figured… — John Lurie Copy Share Image
Jon Stewart is a remarkable satirist and parodist in the vein of Mark Twain, because Jon Stewart understands what Mark Twain knew,… — Bill Moyers Copy Share Image
“It's a time-honored truism of diplomacy that the most resented epithet is the one most accurately depicting the deficiencies of the recipient.” — keith laumer Copy Share Image
“There is no need to search; achievement leads to nowhere. It makes no difference at all, so just be happy now! Love… — Dan Millman Copy Share Image
“Charlotte: "It’s too bad they don’t give out diplomas for what you learn at the mall, because I could graduate with honors… — Janette Rallison Copy Share Image
“She remembered the conversation in the Library, as forgetting was the last thing a fully-trained Librarian should do. Memories were as important… — Genevieve Cogman Copy Share Image
“There were still few rules at Down House, and Charles was not very good at enforcing the ones he and Emma did… — Heiligman Deborah Copy Share Image
I've tried to create a comedy that doesn't look like any other comedy. Maybe traditionally in TV there has been a kind… — Melina Matsoukas Copy Share Image
“In the nineteenth century, The Romantics viewed Nature as benign, a glowing reflection of God's grace. Now we know better. Nature is… — Richard Yancey Copy Share Image
With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: 'He looked really well in that final video.' I… — Russell Howard Copy Share Image
“Gilbert put down the magazine he was looking at and politely said he hoped I was recovering from my injury. I said… — Dashiell Hammett Copy Share Image
If the audience is responding very well to comedians that are hacks, and I don't do well, I don't feel as bad,… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
“Oh, well, that's not bad, I suppose. I mean, I'd prefer devastatingly sophisticated - but almost endearing is more than I could… — Jane Costello Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Apple's next device must be a computer that you control with your tongue. Thanks for eliminating the keyboard and the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“He stopped at a Dunkin' Donuts and bought me an OJ and a bagel. Bribery wasn't going to make me forgive him,… — Shaun David Hutchinson Copy Share Image
