The secret of comedy is don't grow up. That's why some comedians are a nightmare, because they never grow up. — Julian Barratt Copy Share Image
Humor keeps us alive. Humor and food. Don't forget food. You can go a week without laughing. — Joss Whedon Copy Share Image
I feel American comedy is a little too light. World cinema, and Latin cinema, is much more comfortable with darker emotions. — John Leguizamo Copy Share Image
“Ser Barristan wrinkled up his nose, and said, “Your Grace should not be here, breathing these black humors.” — George R.R. Martin Copy Share Image
Presents? We already bought you a lot of things. Member when we were at the market and I bought you gum? You'member. — George Lopez Copy Share Image
“Ah, Mr. Ogg! How I like you!” Mr. Owl cheered. “Always ready to break a neck. Good fellow!” — M.L. LeGette Copy Share Image
If God had wanted people to give blow jobs, he wouldn't have given them teeth. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I did not go into comedy to escape anything. I went into comedy because I had parents who thought it was a… — Seth Meyers Copy Share Image
“If Prague and the rest of Bohemia, with all their charming hospodas delightful architecture and pretty landscape should become too cosy for… — Terje B. Englund Copy Share Image
“He, Jeff, and Troy Lee carried Super Soakers loaded with Grandma Lee's Vampire Cat Remedy, other Animals had garden sprayers slung on… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Hap sighed. If he could change one thing about Umber-besides his constant need for the thrill of exploration-it would be his obsession… — P.W. Catanese Copy Share Image
When I was younger, I was nervous and didn't have a huge amount of confidence as an actor. Comedy is something -… — Lucy Punch Copy Share Image
“I need him to step back. His cologne was practically hijacking my ovulation cycle and I had to fight the urge to… — RS Grey Copy Share Image
I never analyze stuff with comedy because it's boring. It makes you stop being funny. Just be who you are and do… — Jeff Garlin Copy Share Image
“Baking was a science, precise, just mix it all together and let the oven do the work. But actually cooking, she couldn’t… — Allie Burke Copy Share Image
I've never used my weight to get a laugh. That is, used my size as the subject for humor. You never saw… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem! — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.” — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
I just liked stand-up comedy so much. I used to memorize Bill Cosby albums and other people's albums, George Carlin, Flip Wilson. — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Why use a 10 letter word you can barely pronounce...when a four letter one will do.” — Timothy Pina Copy Share Image
“Thinking is good for your mind, but too much thinking leads to distraction.” — Ehabib Copy Share Image
After the Rodgers and Hammerstein revolution, songs became part of the story, as opposed to just entertainments in between comedy scenes. — Stephen Sondheim Copy Share Image
Optimism isnt funny unless you are laughing at the person, whereas extreme pessimism is extremely funny. Its exaggeration. — Steve Toltz Copy Share Image
“Between video games and texting, how do our youth find the time to know everything?” — L.M. Fields Copy Share Image
Stuffed animals are sad and scary; they have humorous and tragic qualities. — Maurizio Cattelan Copy Share Image
“...There is no greater dividing force in this world than self-interest…” — Janvier Chouteu-Chando Copy Share Image
“Father said I have no sense of humor at all. He said I was unequipped to meet life because I have no… — J.D. Salinger Copy Share Image
You know the animal that kills the most people in the world? The Hepatitis Bee. — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
“Never sleep with a lady only once, especially in the case of an older lady. -'Rhett ” — Rowena Cherry Copy Share Image
In my family, humor is the healer. We laugh at everything, sometimes at great expense to me because I'm the youngest. — Bridget Everett Copy Share Image
“The boring thing with 'No sex before marriage' is that kids will never get to attend their parents’ wedding.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Women, in general, are less visually aroused than men, a trait that has nearly cut the market for pornography in half.” — David Brooks Copy Share Image
“MOTIEJUS (ponui Do) . Ei! Iškišk galvą. PONAS DO (iškiša užpakalį) . Ką tamsta sakai?” — Juozas Erlickas Copy Share Image
The only thing I know about Slovakia is what I learned first-hand from your foreign minister, who came to Texas. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“For the record, I do have genitals; and they are functional and aesthetically pleasing.” — Chuck Lorre Copy Share Image
“Repeat a mistake once, it's a lesson. Twice, it's a coincidence. Thrice, it's a subscription to a comedy show called "Oops, I… — Monika Ajay Kaul Copy Share Image
“Edwin is prepared to believe that a glass exists. And further, that this glass holds liquid.” — Patrick E. McLean Copy Share Image
“As a journalist, I am compelled to know the answers." "As a girl, I am compelled to protect what's left of my… — Libba Bray Copy Share Image
