Humor Quotes · Page 449

“Life is a process during which one initially gets less and less dependent, independent, and then more and more dependent.”

— Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Mornings and I had a falling out many years ago. We avoid one another as much as polite society dictates we may.”

— Megan Derr

“They didn't just live with secrets. Secrecy surrounded their entire lives.”

— Anthony Horowitz

Humor is a terrific tool for explaining things, especially when what you're explaining is frightening or dull and complicated.

— P. J. O'Rourke

“Well, I proved once and for all that the limb is mightier than the thumb.”

— Claudette Colbert

I didn't really discover that I had a knack for comedy until I landed 'Married w/ Children.'

— David Faustino

How often have not the demons called 'Nix,' drawn women and girls into the water, and there had commerce with them, with…

— Martin Luther

Maybe I'll just become a cartoon character because there's nothing left for me to do in an R-rated comedy.

— Anonymous

“Mickey had turned into Daisy, and Goofy had turned into Einstein—we were talking about a transmutation that would even have had Paracelsus…

— Novala Takemoto

“I have never read The Joy of Crap. Sounds disgusting. I have, however, read The Joy of Sex. Not in a while,…

— Michelle Hodkin

One of my favorite experiences was '9 to 5,' for one reason: Dolly Parton. I learned what it means to really work…

— Joe Mantello

“How poor are they that have no patients! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?'" "Shakespeare isn't going to save you…

— Colleen Houck

For me to put a look together, if it's going to be a boy look or a girl look or whatever, is…

— Eddie Izzard

“He committed the crime of stupidity while under my command," said Citizen. "Oh my," said Rigg. "They're handing out the death penalty…

— Orson Scott Card

There's such a boy's club with comedy in Hollywood and that's what Ben Stiller, Adam Sandler and Will Ferrell do-they develop their…

— Anna Faris

“We're going to have ourselves one hell of a Ruckus," said Smokey with a grin that went quite beyond the boundaries of…

— Joshua Donellan

“I loved Granny Belmonte, but she didn't need a costume to look undead.”

— Bethany Frenette

“Wearing dark denim, he look more like one of those guys in GQ magazine than a soulless alien version of the goat-sucking…

— Jennifer Armentrout

When you see your friend at the bus stop, and they live too far... ha ha ha..

— Anonymous

Every time I think about writing, comedy doesn't interest me in the slightest. I can play comedy, but I don't think in…

— Jim Parsons

What is 2.5 inches long and can satisfy a woman every-time? A credit card.

— Anonymous

You must be really tired because you've been running through my mind all day

— Alex Low

Comedy is a very personal thing, and some people will find it funny, some people won't.

— Stephen Mangan

“Fate doesnt exist, if you find someone you love that loves you back, its called luck.”

— Natalie Stenger

“The stoic contemplates fallen leaves; the epicure rakes them into a loveseat.”

— Bauvard

I've just read that I am dead. Don't forget to delete me from your list of subscribers.

— Rudyard Kipling

“You also yell at the pigeons outside, watch too many cooking shows, and have a blog entirely dedicated to pictures of yourself.”

— Marie Jacquelyn

“While you're moving about your way in this world, just remember, read long and prosper. Cheers!”

— Virginia Vayna

“Men circle like bees around honey, buzzing to communicate their sexual despair.”

— Carla H Krueger

'Where's Bill going?' He's going to comedy death. Boom! He pops out of it with another joke. It's my particular style.

— Bill Hicks

In a few years priests will say, 'You may now change your relationship status to husband and wife.'

— Anonymous

“If you want to keep people happy, just keep the food and entertainment rolling.”

— E.A. Bucchianeri

“In Chestnut Hill money didn't talk, but it drank, and played a lot of golf.”

— Alistair McHarg

“If hitting an unexpected speed bump with your car equates to the best sex you've had lately, you know your hormones are…

— Ellen Phillips

While there are different genres of comedy, I am for family entertainment.

— Javed Jaffrey

I think having a sense of humor is just as important a coping mechanism as it is a gift for everyday life.

— Camille Grammer

“I was thinking more of laughter and smiles. For example, the feeling I get when I read a good book.”

— Scott D. Southard

“We are not in a foul humor, Belkin. We are in a corrupt-tempered mood. There is a difference, you know.”

— Rachel Heffington

They laughed. Things were funny. They weren't afraid to care. There was no sense to life, to the structure of things.

— Charles Bukowski

“A reasonable looking guy with a sense of humour to go to parties with: surely that´s not too much to ask, is…

— Nick Alexander