Humor Quotes · Page 383

The solution is always spiritual, and it almost never has anything to do with the problem ... laughter is carbonated holiness.

— Anne Lamott

“After all, which would you rather do, pal, screw Bridget Bardot’s brains out or read reviews of her movies?”

— M.T. Bass

I like the English. They have the most rigid code if immorality in the world.

— Malcolm Bradbury

My head says, 'go to the gym.' but my heart says, 'stay on the internet forever and eat tacos!'

— Anonymous

I used to do a lot of comedy. I don't know what happened. I think it's my face.

— Eddie Marsan

“To find out if she really loved me, I hooked her up to a lie detector. And just as I suspected, my…

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

I got two stools, in case I want to sit down and sit down again on something else.

— Mitch Hedberg

I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny.

— Anthony Jeselnik

I'm more than a little suspicious of humor in poems, because I think it can at times be a way of getting…

— Matthew Zapruder

To have a friend and a comrade as your co-star, especially in a romantic comedy, is really important. It gives you the…

— Alex O'Loughlin

“Remember guls," preached Mrs. Gulbenk, always holding the most perfect red tomato in her hand for all of us to admire, "you…

— Susan Gregg Gilmore

“They served "Good Food" but only a G, an O and a D were lit up. Personally, I doubted God dined there.…

— Julie Kenner

“He makes it sound so Zen. Or Jedi. Like some kind of Wolf Yoda. There is no try. And maybe that’s all…

— Kat Kruger

“Aye, a very bad business indeed. A new sort of way this, for a young fellow to be making love, by breaking…

— Jane Austen

“Ah yes…” He made an exaggerated nod. “I was supposed to be filling you in on Nangí’s story.” He winked at me…

— M.A. George

My sister was very, very beautiful and I was very not. Doing comedy is the greatest thing ever because you don't have…

— Nikki Glaser

Well, it looks like the all-star balloting is about over, especially in the National and American Leagues.

— Jerry Coleman

What I've created comedically owes a lot to my ignorance of comedy and love of making theatre stuff.

— Tim Minchin

Humor and comedy have always been the best way to deal with real life issues and just reality.

— Jermaine Fowler

As for the world of fashion and celebrity, I have the usual interest in the human comedy, but the problems of depiction…

— David Hockney

The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

— Jane Austen

People say laughter is the best medicine. Your face must be curing the world.

— Hussein Nishah

I hope people'll find out pretty quickly that the guy they saw for 10 years was my sense of humor the whole time.

— Stephen Colbert

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I might be a vampire so I don't give a shit. I'll heal”

— Gena Showalter

“Confidence could easily become arrogance. A sense of humor was only ever a few rungs away from cruelty. *”

— Anna Pitoniak

“Do you pray for the senators, Dr. Hale?' someone asked the chaplain. No, I look at the senators and I pray for…

— Edward Everett Hale

Comedy, drama, Westerns, sci-fi... it's all fine if the story's compelling and the character is interesting to me. I do like action…

— Jensen Ackles

I just hope people see the work that I'm doing. I hope they acknowledge comedy and what an art form it is.…

— Janelle James

“Now that we can buy anything we want we seem to read detective stories.”

— Elizabeth Savage

I want to live in Britain with a sense of humour - where there are no groups whose life choices are 'above'…

— Andrea Leadsom

“Andrew Lloyd Webber's version of the Kool-Aid jingle is at once chilling and evocative. Donny Osmond is brilliant as James Jones.”

— Christopher Moore

I'm actually not funny, I'm just mean, but people always think I'm joking...

— Rohit Padhra

If I sit for a while, then my impatience, crossness, frustration, are indeed annihilated, and my sense of humor returns.

— Madeleine L'Engle

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, As long as I'm laughin' with you.

— Jessie Jakeway

“The only direction not represented in their construction was vertical.”

— Lee Battersby

We need not invite the Devil to our table; he is too ready to come without being asked. The air all about…

— Martin Luther

“a shirt that said “Sure you can date my daughter. In a completely unrelated topic, have you seen my shotgun?”

— Tara Sivec

“What's done is done. Cas is alive. A little crispier than before, but he's breathing”

— Kendra Blake

“Yes, it's difficult to ascertain whether he is trying to arouse her or perform a breast exam.”

— John Green

What an ornament and safeguard is humor! Far better than wit for a poet and writer. It is a genius itself, and…

— Walter Scott