I'm kinda tired. I was up all night trying to round off infinity. Then I got bored and went out and painted… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“The authorities are excellent at amassing facts, though they do not always use them to advantage.” — Arthur Conan Doyle Copy Share Image
I prefer that laughter shall take me unawares. Only so can it master and dissolve me. — Max Beerbohm Copy Share Image
My humour has always come from anger, but I have to make sure I don't just get angry and jump on a… — Carl Hiaasen Copy Share Image
Denzel Washington has a great sense of humor. He did all those 'Nutty Professor' movies. — Seth MacFarlane Copy Share Image
“Hey,” he pulled away and put his hand on my face. “What are you thinking about?” “Your butt,” I admitted.” — Diana Peterfreund Copy Share Image
“Did you ever see anybody so disgusting: said lightning to thunder, "never," growled thunder, "let's give him the works.” — William Steig Copy Share Image
The thing is to be brave and move the audience with you, instead of cater to the lowest common denominator, you know,… — Mel Brooks Copy Share Image
All Internet comedy is niche comedy. If you do an Internet video about Halo, every Halo fan will send it to every… — Ricky Van Veen Copy Share Image
My mother was Irish; she had this great sense of humor, and both my parents loved films. There was a very vibrant… — Martin Donovan Copy Share Image
“If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
I'm not a strict vegetarian. I do eat beef and pork. And chicken. But not fish 'cause that's disgusting! How do you… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
In terms of whether I use humor to allow me or my readers to come up for air, I don't think I… — Daniel Olivas Copy Share Image
“She even tried the one which every romantic nerve in her body insisted should work, which consisted of theatrically giving up, sitting… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them… — Christopher Paolini Copy Share Image
“Companies may never come up with a better office communication program than a lunch break.” — Amit Kalantri Copy Share Image
The comedy of each age holds up a mirror to the people of that age, a mirror that is unique. — Edith Hamilton Copy Share Image
Stuff that I write isn't as similar to the stuff that I'm in, but I don't really care, I just do comedy. — T. J. Miller Copy Share Image
“My name is Kevin James Breaux and I am an author. Why does that always sound like I am introducing myself at… — Kevin James Breaux Copy Share Image
I've never heard of a comedy that hasn't had reshoots, especially for the ending of a movie in a comedy. — Bradley Cooper Copy Share Image
The devil is not, indeed, perfectly humorous, but that is only because he is the extreme of all humor. — Samuel Taylor Coleridge Copy Share Image
When you walk through life with a dirty mind, the simplest things seem funny — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Finally, from so little sleeping and so much reading, his brain dried up and he went completely out of his mind.” — Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra Copy Share Image
I didn't grow up with my dad, so it was always very funny to me, and always has been, what an important… — Kiefer Sutherland Copy Share Image
If we lose our sense of humor, then we most certainly have lost our perspective, and therefore our happiness and joy. — Senoraroy Copy Share Image
“Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“The whole damn century would've made more sense backwards. Where we ended is worse than where we began.” — Rebecca Makkai Copy Share Image
“I sometimes think if I did not write I would be a madwoman. Now I am a sane woman with a lot… — Kendall Hailey Copy Share Image
“Used a replica gun to steal a replica sportscar and experienced a replica of remorse” — Steve Aylett Copy Share Image
“If the Super Bowl is the ultimate game, how come there is another one next year?” — Duane Thomas Copy Share Image
“What's the difference between depression and South America? If you really had to, you could conquer South America.” — Doug Westberg Copy Share Image
“My heart is so light, I think it might be made out of air. It might float up and escape through the… — Robin York Copy Share Image
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line. — Oscar Levant Copy Share Image
My feeling is there is always that possibility for humour in tragedy. In life they go together. — Tara Fitzgerald Copy Share Image
“What do you think of Christmas?" "I like it," she said. "I think we should have it every year.” — Liz Flaherty Copy Share Image
“Im sorry it's just a little case of PMS that's all...Im just one big emotional wreck...Could you guys go get me some… — Shawn Wayans Copy Share Image
“Can you believe the man rhymed 'Rumplestiltskin' with 'crumpled napkins'?” — Christopher Healy Copy Share Image
I'm actually into the idea of doing stand-up comedy, as a joke. You know how people do karaoke for fun? Well it… — Keeley Hazell Copy Share Image
I'm not a natural comedian, as an artist. I studied comedy growing up. I would watch Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy and Martin… — Brandon T. Jackson Copy Share Image
