Humor Quotes · Page 248

Laughter is pleasant, but the exertion at my age is too much for me.

— Thomas Love Peacock

Do you suppose I could buy back my introduction to you?

— Groucho Marx

Good humor is the health of the soul, sadness is its poison.

— Anonymous

I usually tame my off-kilter sense of humor for novels.

— Eden Robinson

We're living on the Planet of the Apes. Is that funny or serious?

— Robert Anton Wilson

I love the idea of comedy in horror. I think this should be allowed.

— Robert Englund

“. . . mixing defensiveness with anger - a wonderful mix, by the way.”

— Liza Palmer

Don't come on to be funny - come on to solve problems.

— Keith Johnstone

Humor, humility, and, of course, honesty, all are qualities that work in public and cultural diplomacy.

— Cynthia P. Schneider

There we go, that's it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours.

— Bill Bailey

“Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence because that's where your neighbor's leaky septic tank is buried.”

— Dakboy

“Thank you adult mittens, for allowing me to give people the finger without them knowing it.”

— Jimmy Fallon

It is true that comedy might not be realistic all the time, but I enjoy doing it.

— Sanjay Mishra

“Bringing a pot plant to the office, I believe, is a sign of quite serious commitment.”

— Danielle Wood

A wife is essential to great longevity; she is the receptacle of half a man's cares, and two-thirds of his ill-humor.

— Charles Reade

“A half-blood of the eldest dogs..." "Er, Percy?" Annabeth interrupted. "That's gods. Not dogs.”

— Rick Riordan

“So this is what you two do when you’re up here,” Dean drawls. “All that deep, intensive tutoring.” He air-quotes the last…

— Elle Kennedy

My mother taught me what it is to have a sense of humour; my dad, who was a headmaster, everything you need…

— James Nesbitt

I should say, one of the things about being a widow or a widower, you really, really need a sense of humor,…

— Joyce Carol Oates

“Jaime smiled. "I hope you're not thinking of taking the black on us, sweet brother." Tyrion laughed. "What, me, celibate? The whores…

— George R.R. Martin

Being around Lily Tomlin has been great, how she treats people, how she handles herself, how she goes about interpreting her character…

— Baron Vaughn

“If we had known it would eventually involve the KGB, the French National Police, and the Supreme Allied Commander in Europe, we…

— Rosanne Parry

“It's obvious which one you are,' Jimmy Hailler tells me as we walk through Hyde Park. 'If it's so obvious why can't…

— Melina Marchetta

“I can finish that off and get you something better,” he offered. “You’d eat my leftovers?...” I felt like such a prima…

— M.A. George

Humor can be one of our best survival tools.

— Allen Klein

My theory is that comedy comes from little people.

— Scott Thompson

“I'd be a dumbass if I didn't plan for every contingency.”

— Maya Banks

If you can spell 'Nietzsche' without Google, you deserve a cookie.

— Lauren Leto

“Pie in a bed of raw onions. Human skull looking put-upon. -- Howl”

— Diana Wynne Jones

I used to do drugs, but that was way back there.

— Dave Attell

“Better to be a one trick pony...than all-purpose glue.”

— Matthew Quinn Martin

Most of the people I know in comedy are not weird or messed up.

— Kristen Schaal

“When I lose control, I lose my cool and I pass the point of no RTN.”

— Natalya Vorobyova

“Woo-hoo! This is gon' be a Turkey shoot!”

— Joe Castle

I've been bouncing around from comedy to drama and TV and film.

— Krysten Ritter

Disney did well with human characters but only in dramas, not comedy.

— William Hanna

If your timing is not correct then comedy will become tragedy.

— Rajpal Yadav

“It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.”

— Steven Wright

“When God closes a door, he throws a sword through your window.”

— Griffin McElroy

“Fuck you and the paranormal horse you rode in on.”

— C.L. Bevill