Sometimes I wonder how many miles I've scrolled my mouse wheel. — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
“…yes, I have slept with the wrong men, and never with the wrong dog.” — Susan Chernak McElroy Copy Share Image
I was writing for live television. And I said to myself, someday, soon as I can, I have got to do a… — Norman Lear Copy Share Image
“He had smoked dope exactly twice, but stopped when he realized it was called dope for a reason.” — Christopher Pike Copy Share Image
“My French friend tells me that someday, if I work at it, I may no longer be flattering myself when I say… — Patricia Briggs Copy Share Image
“Better to be in the arena getting stomped by the bulls, than to be up in the stands or out in the… — Steven Pressfield Copy Share Image
I will do comedy until the day I die: inappropriate comedy, funny comedy, gender-bending, twisting comedy, whatever comedy is out there. — Sandra Bullock Copy Share Image
I'd love to write more observational comedy but the stuff people seem to respond to is the most personal so it's snowballed… — Mae Martin Copy Share Image
“Crap. No one's ever called me dorkina before. Derivative of dork. Not good.” — Cynthia Hand Copy Share Image
“For Sale: Complete set of encylopedias. Never used. Wife knows everything.” — Paul Zindel Copy Share Image
“I worked in a grocery store my whole life, Honey-girl. I know what lonely housewives think of this.” “I meant the baby,… — Pella Grace Copy Share Image
“He knew from experience that true and obvious ideas, such as the ineffable wisdom and judgment of the Great God Om, seemed… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“My brain is a vast, barren, jokeless plain where wolves howl at the moon over rocky overhangs and the wind kicks up… — Craig Silvey Copy Share Image
“Time seemed to stand still as they remained embraced, him holding his body weight on his elbows as he looked down at… — Carla Cassidy Copy Share Image
“My dick didn't seem to be aware that she was there. She kept asking me what was wrong, and I was so… — Nikki Sixx Copy Share Image
“I think that's possibly the nicest thing you have said to me. Ever." I laughed. "No it's not. I've said nice things… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“The problem wasn't that Stephen was a fathead and Virginia was a gossip. It was that Stephen was a driven fathead with… — Jennifer Crusie Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you. You were being hung. I had a sword in one hand and a stool in the… — Bauvard Copy Share Image
“Let me express how much I don't care on a scale from one to bite me” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems. — Dan Castellaneta Copy Share Image
