“Every child needs a father. Even if he turns out to be Darth Vader.” — Jackson Radcliffe Copy Share Image
A sense of humor isn't everything. It's only 90 percent of everything. — Cynthia Heimel Copy Share Image
“You’re not going to campus. You’re going out to get drunk and play with other ladies’ boobies.” - Kye” — Krista Alasti Copy Share Image
If I ever meet C.S. Lewis in person I will either apologize to him or punch him in the head, depending on… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites some sort of response. — Fran Lebowitz Copy Share Image
“I had a dream that my boyfriend went back to his ex…I woke up and giggled because you don’t pick up a… — Starley Ard Copy Share Image
Stand-up comedy is mine: it's my entity; it's my brand; I own it. I do it when I want to do it. — Kevin Hart Copy Share Image
“I'm so sorry," said Kevin. "So selfish. I'm actually totally selfish, but I've been trying to cut back.” — Z.A. Maxfield Copy Share Image
As for the demented, I hold it certain that all beings deprived of reason are thus afflicted only by the Devil. — Martin Luther Copy Share Image
Religion is indeed the opiate of the masses. Except for Islam, its more like Crystal Meth. — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
“There comes a time when the heaping up of calamities brings on uncontrollable nervous laughter - when, after a final blow from… — Jean-Dominique Bauby Copy Share Image
“There’s a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork, greatest of Discworld cities. At least, there’s a saying that there’s a saying… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Then I guess I'll just have to try biting again" "You wanna try?" He leaned the curve of my cheek. "Let me… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
There's not a comedy actor who doesn't want a chance to do drama, and vice versa. As actors, we're always looking to… — Matthew Lillard Copy Share Image
I have no idea what a British sensibility or a British sense of humor is. I have no concept of what that… — Frank Oz Copy Share Image
I never felt like I was stealing anyone's fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“The growth of intimacy is like that. First one gives off his best picture, the bight and finished product mended with bluff… — F. Scott Fitzgerald Copy Share Image
“What was he like afterwards? Totally adorable-he fell asleep right on top of me! What was he like afterwards? I thought he'd… — Pat Brisson Copy Share Image
“Mornings are for discoveries. Afternoons are for revelations.” — Gina Marinello-Sweeney Copy Share Image
Talking of white supremacist violent types, I was in America, recently. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
