Humor Quotes · Page 209

Comedy was a secret want, but it wasn't anything I pursued.

— Tig Notaro

I love humour, and I can laugh at myself.

— Sanjay Leela Bhansali

Life has 3 rules, paradox, humor, and change.

— Anonymous

Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.

— Rita Rudner

The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.

— Mark Twain

The house of laughter makes a house of woe.

— Edward Young

“A legend is merely a history man decided to bugger.”

— Karen Chance

Rome was not built in a day, unlike the Walmart down my street.

— MJ McGuire

“he plunged out into the winter night bursting with the belated eloquence of the inarticulate”

— Edith Wharton

If sex were shoes, I'd wear you out. But I wouldn't wear you out in public.

— Jarod Kintz

“If you count sheep before you go to sleep, are you barrrrr'd from dreams?”

— Benny Bellamacina

I would recommend that anyone who wants to do comedy on TV to do radio first.

— David Walliams

It's always been said that comedy comes mostly out of the dark side anyway.

— Alan Thicke

I value each woman for what she has to offer whether it be charm-beauty-wit-intelligence or humor but warmth is the quality I…

— Marlon Brando

A witty illustration or an apt story will accomplish more than columns of argument.

— Chauncey Depew

“I notice that I don’t experience much self-doubt when I’m talking about the weather.”

— Jason W. Freeman

“For LOBELIA SACKVILLE-BAGGINS, as a PRESENT;' on a case of silver spoons… Bilbo believed that she had acquired a good many of…

— J.R.R. Tolkien

“A layer of fine powder coats his skin. “My lungs are turning to concrete,” Rob wheezes, hacking and spitting. “So are my…

— Laura Kreitzer

Baby, after considerable thought I've reached the conclusion that the only conceivable legitimate answer to the Universe as constituted is a peal…

— Keith Laumer

“With the world securely in order, Dain was able to devote the leisurely bath time to editing his mental dictionary. He removed…

— Loretta Chase

“Well,' I said. 'I could strip off my clothes and reveal to you that under my jeans and sweatshirt I'm actually wearing…

— Meg Cabot

In years past, comedy and fashion just haven't often gone hand in hand, so even though I love it, it wasn't something…

— Ego Nwodim

I just hate the whole idea of labeling anything as a comedy. If you tell me something's funny, I'll want to rebel…

— Amy Sedaris

“Simon's brain tried to comprehend the situation. 'Was an international supermodel really holding Doc Gutson, leader of the infamous Bloodworth Gang, captive?”

— Clare Havens

Sick of tea !?! That's like being sick of breathing!!

— Uncle Iroh

“I go with the flow but I write against it.”

— TL Burrell

“Libations are for the gods. Cocktails are for mere mortals.”

— Jonathan Kieran

“Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!”

— Karl Marx

If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny.

— Tracy Morgan

But then, like George Michael in a men's bathroom, I got cocky.

— Chelsea Handler

My style of comedy is probably absurdist, observational, and Olympian.

— Ronny Chieng

“If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?”

— Steven Wright

I have worked in both comedy films and romance.

— Ammy Virk

I eat Swiss cheese from the inside out.

— Steven Wright

“Don't get between me and my chocolate!”

— Gail Koger

Comedy is very, very hard to achieve.

— John Lithgow

Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I would start a revolution, but I just bought a hammock.

— Zach Galifianakis

Witty and mean is easy - but fond and funny is hard.

— Steven Moffat

My dad loved to laugh. He was very funny and very silly.

— Mike Myers