Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do. — Becca Fitzpatrick Copy Share Image
Breaking records is not something you expect to be doing. That's like a sports thing, it's not usually a comedy and writing… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
We will keep a commitment to pluralism and not discriminate for or against Methodist or Mormons or Muslims or good people with… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
It's always impressive when talented comedians are easy laughers or generous with their laughs. — Hank Azaria Copy Share Image
“A few reasonable policies won't do much good if the surrounding society is insane.” — Taras Grescoe Copy Share Image
“Jesse just smiles. He blows a smoke ring. "Sis," he says, "welcome to the Dark Side.” — Jodi Picoult Copy Share Image
Yeah, I'm not into sports. If someone told me I had athlete's foot, I'd say that's not my foot! — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
3 people = Threesome, 2 people = Twosome and 1 person = ???? Guess ..!!!! one-some..!! No its hand-some — Zach Manal Copy Share Image
Last year we drove across the country...We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip... I don't remember what… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“Miss Langman was often, in interviews, described as a witty conversationalist; how can a woman be witty when she hasn't a sense… — Truman Capote Copy Share Image
“Chance likes to ride in back, standing up at red lights and pounding on the roof in (what he insists is) Morse… — Kelley York Copy Share Image
“Celibacy is the Tesla family secret, passed down through the generations.” “Celibacy, passed down through the generations?”Victor asked dryly. I flushed. “Its… — Vinnie Tesla Copy Share Image
“He tried to press the machine into my hands, but I stepped back. He was getting too close, and besides, I didn't… — Minfong Ho Copy Share Image
True humor springs not more from the head than from the heart. It is not contempt; its essence is love. It issues… — Thomas Carlyle Copy Share Image
Every week for me was the same audience, and every week they heckled me. The better I got at comedy, the better… — Felipe Esparza Copy Share Image
“Moje uznanie, Reinmarze. Łeż to, jak widzę, że uniwersytety mogą młodzika nauczyć jeno pijaństwa, wszeteczeństwa i plugawej mowy. Łeż, zaprawdę.” — Andrzej Sapkowski Copy Share Image
“Icy: You ladies want to hear something funny? The quiz in last month's Teen Witch said "What would you do if you… — Darcy Icy the Winx Club Copy Share Image
“He’s in a side room alone with her and it’s far too fucking hot.” — Carla H Krueger Copy Share Image
“Laughter can deflate almost any problem down to its proper size.” — Richelle E. Goodrich Copy Share Image
