Help me, Mr. Wizard! I don't want to be an amateur gynecologist anymore! — Rock Cowles Channeling Tooter The Turtle Copy Share Image
“I have so many people in my head, I can't keep up with the real people around me. But it's okay, I'm… — Shannon Taylor Vannatter Copy Share Image
I don't worship comedy; at the end of the day, I don't fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly. — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
“The thing about Shakespeare is you can only read his books if someone is making you.” — Gabrielle Zevin Copy Share Image
“Weddings, I began to understand, were vile, filthy things when they ran amuck.” — Laurie Notaro Copy Share Image
I like comedy, not violence, but violence is making a lot of money. But comedy is what I like. — Andy Warhol Copy Share Image
“Today I’m a “sociopath”, A.K.A. feeling very antisocial and ignorant of human emotion. Code for: I’m writing… leave me alone” — Ari Ryder Copy Share Image
I like girls with a good sense of humour. Girls who are a lot of fun to be around. — Corbin Bleu Copy Share Image
“Your father sounds frightening," Trayton said. "He once made a general cry." "No." "I shit you not. The guy had to retire… — Jennifer Rardin Copy Share Image
“They didn't come to crush the city. They came to crush the hubris of its king." "That must have hurt," Oates said.… — P.W. Catanese Copy Share Image
The great thing about doing physical comedy for film is that if it doesn't work you're not exposed. It ends up on… — Isla Fisher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Stop talking about "the gas prices under Obama." As if he's the guy out there changing the numbers on the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“I promise I'll never tell." "Don't promise that," he said in an ultraserious voice. "If they try to hurt you and the… — Jeri Smith-Ready Copy Share Image
“I am something of a connoisseur of the country pile and I must say {he} had done himself remarkably well. At a… — Sebastian Faulks Copy Share Image
0ne day, daddy saw his 5 year 0ld s0n writing,. he asked. DAD:s0n? what are y0u d0ing?. S0n:writing a l0ve letter t0… — Megz Copy Share Image
I've always been part of comedy. One of the things about our family was that if we were reasonably funny with each… — Leslie Nielsen Copy Share Image
“If religion is what gives you hope and purpose, I believe in comedy.” — Cooper Bratten Copy Share Image
“Some men’s chests are more buttlike than some women’s butts.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Germans respond well to lies. At least, they always have historically. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
