“The truth is what we say it is...prove to me this desk is not a cow!” — Ray S. Jones Copy Share Image
“If you like pray like a praying mantis or fast like a faxing machine, if you have no faith, you are just… — Ifeanyi Enoch Onuoha Copy Share Image
“I recommend we don’t open this until Scotland or the bloody thing will projectile vomit all over the motorway.” — Lyn Gardner Copy Share Image
“I have found that in this business, one of the most important things is sincerity. If you can fake that, you can… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I have always had huge respect for comedians/comediennes. It's because comedy is very hard to portray. — Samantha Akkineni Copy Share Image
In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge. — George Herbert Copy Share Image
My favorite comedians are just presenting an argument, and they're doing it in a funny way. — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
Happiness is gentleness, peace, concentration, simplicity, forgiveness, humor, fearlessness, trust, and now. — Hugh Prather Copy Share Image
“Sometimes "i" just like to talk to "myself" to see if i'm fine ,it turns out we "both" have the same problem.” — Mohieddine Cheouichi Copy Share Image
“Elise hid her face in his shoulder, embarassed, "Kane! What will they think?" She whispered against his neck. "That we're newly bonded… — Nicky Charles Copy Share Image
The whole world is tense. Everybody gets the international news. Theres been no American comedy at all that even remotely addresses the… — Albert Brooks Copy Share Image
“My mother was, for the most part, delighted with my brother and regarded him with the bemused curiosity of a brood hen… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I've learned what's funny verbally ain't so funny on e-mail: They don't hear your intonations. Melissa broke up with somebody over that.… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
“The irony of being ignored by someone is that it means you have been noticed by that person first. Take heart you… — Shannon L. Alder Copy Share Image
The alumni of Second City from John Belushi to Martin Short have changed my entire life and brought a new kind of… — Bernie Brillstein Copy Share Image
“He smiled proudly at the machine Ephraim was staring at. "That's our Coheron Drive. Isn't she beautiful? I helped build her." Ephraim… — E.C. Myers Copy Share Image
My sense of humor keeps me from committing atrocities! I love rearranging words and destroying language and the established forms of art… — Alan Bishop Copy Share Image
I'm so glad Courtney Love is here; I left my crack in my other purse. — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
There is a mandate to impose a voluntary return to traditional values. — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
