Humor Quotes · Page 104

“It is the heart that is unsure of its God that is afraid to laugh.”

— George MacDonald

“Those pizzas I ate were for medicinal purposes.”

— Amy Neftzger

I have great faith in fools - self-confidence my friends will call it.

— Anonymous

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

— Steven Wright

“Aunt Beulah could hear the dust moats collide in a sunbeam.”

— Wendell Berry

I pray to the shrine of 'Mr. Show.' It saved sketch comedy.

— Michael McKean

“Goodness had nothing to do with it.”

— Mae West

SNL' is pretty much what fully got me into comedy.

— Quinta Brunson

If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning, and you think you are an onion,…

— Jeremy Clarkson

“We’re only five years apart,” I said defiantly. “If you look at some of those dysfunctional vampyre relationships, we’re near normal.”

— Heather Heffner

Too much comedy today is vulgar, not clever. I say that as a comedian and as a consumer.

— Mort Sahl

I hate it when people come to comedy shows thinking it's going to be simply all about laughing at jokes.

— Deon Cole

Walt is dead. And, after a couple of hours at Epcot, you'll wish you were, too.

— P. J. O'Rourke

“Art boy is obviously intimidated. You're like the sun and he's squinting up at you, barely able to see because of your…

— Jody Gehrman

Once you see the effect on the other person, your joke is no longer funny.

— Meg

I think bands, when they're on the road, they keep their sanity by developing an internal sense of humor.

— Ric Ocasek

I like a guy who can make fun of me and make fun of himself. He's got to have a sense of…

— Rachel Bilson

“Smitty leaned forward, resting his arms on this raised knees. "I am fixin' to get mad, Jessie. "You're fixin' to get mad?"…

— Shelly Laurenston

A lot of political people, especially people on the left, have forgotten the importance of humor as an incredible weapon, and a…

— Michael Moore

Freud wrote a book on the essence of humor, but he didn't know what he was talking about. Max Eastman wrote a…

— John Gould

“I'm going to have a hard time sending you off with Scott in that dress. Just a heads-up: If you come home…

— Becca Fitzpatrick

Whenever I meet someone who doesn't seem to have much of a sense of humor I like to lighten things up by…

— Rock Cowles

I'm lucky that I get to jump around, do a big-budget comedy and then a smaller film. I don't even make a…

— Richard Linklater

“Fucking Hallmark never wrote anything for how I felt then. When Metallica and the rest of the metal community pitched in to…

— Susan Juby

“My undercarriage is a national treasure.”

— Gina Damico

Carry laughter with you wherever you go.

— Hugh Sidey

I was never really comfortable doing comedy.

— Ricky Schroder

“You can quote me, but I'll tell everyone that you're lying.”

— Jael Turner

Life is neither comedy or tragedy, life is what you make of it.

— Radha Mitchell

“... Play the age as comedy if you want to get away with murder.”

— James Agee

“If bliss are a type of potato, then ignorance can be french-fried”

— josh stern

If you want to be witty, say what you think at all times

— Oscar Wilde

“I remind you that I have no faith. If I sought God, I find myself.”

— Henry de Montherlant

“This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.”

— George V. Higgins

Life is a bitch, then you marry one.

— Anonymous

I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.

— Artie Lange

“I’ll show you a fag, you little bitch. I’ll fuck-start your head!”

— C.J. Roberts

A sense of humor can make someone more attractive.

— Anonymous

Kim's [Kardashian] just a funny person in general.

— Kanye West

“I’m not bipolar, I’ve just had a bipolar life foisted upon me.”

— Daniel O'Malley