Kinky Friedman

If you don't love Jesus-go to hell!

— Kinky Friedman

I want to see a Jew in the White house.

— Kinky Friedman

I'm not for the parties. I'm for Texas.

— Kinky Friedman

“The best fiction is true.”

— Kinky Friedman

Happiness is a moving target.

— Kinky Friedman

May the God of your choice bless you.

— Kinky Friedman

I see an issue I like, and I support it.

— Kinky Friedman

“Never re-elect anybody”

— Kinky Friedman

We're going to make that Lone Star shine again

— Kinky Friedman

Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.

— Kinky Friedman

The distance between the limousine and the gutter is a short one.

— Kinky Friedman

I want to be governor [of Texas] because I need the closet space.

— Kinky Friedman

Now I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.

— Kinky Friedman

I'll sign anything except bad legislation.

— Kinky Friedman

Students don't know who Mark Twain was because he wasn't on the test.

— Kinky Friedman

Poly means more than one, and ticks are bloodsucking parasites.

— Kinky Friedman

The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship

— Kinky Friedman

Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson.

— Kinky Friedman

I'm well aware that the Nelson Mandelas and the Winston Churchills of the world happened by accident. They usually come out of…

— Kinky Friedman

In six days the Lord created the heavens and the earth and all the wonders therein. There are some of us who…

— Kinky Friedman

I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

— Kinky Friedman

“I have found that in this business, one of the most important things is sincerity. If you can fake that, you can…

— Kinky Friedman

Finding a cat--or having a cat find you--can change your world as much as marriage, divorce, love, death, or even winning the…

— Kinky Friedman

I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you.

— Kinky Friedman

My three favorite travel writers of all time are Robert Louis Stevenson, Graham Greene, and Chuck Thompson. Smile When You're Lying not…

— Kinky Friedman

But the most dangerous thing in the world in the world is to run the risk of waking up one morning and…

— Kinky Friedman

People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love…

— Kinky Friedman

This is called "spiritual lifting." It's not heavy lifting. The governor of Texas should not be confused with Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's a…

— Kinky Friedman

“We went into Bennie's, where Ratso bought all three newspapers: the Post, which I always read and Ratso hated, The New York…

— Kinky Friedman

And I'll tell you another thing, you won't find any candidate that supports prayer in school and gay marriage. For that reason…

— Kinky Friedman

The only thing that really differentiates Texas from any other place in the world is the proclivity of its people to urinate…

— Kinky Friedman

That's the government. Having been a politician and a musician, I can tell you which one is a higher calling. If musicians…

— Kinky Friedman

“see the people on the sidewalk?...aren't you glad you're not one of them? they're all so self-importantly going nowhere...they just have no…

— Kinky Friedman

Most people, of course, spend their lives caring about the wrong things. The worry about South Africa or Nicaragua. They spend so…

— Kinky Friedman

Wandering around back stage at a willie Nelson concert is a bit like being the parrot on the shoulder of the guy…

— Kinky Friedman

“How hard can it be?”

— Kinky Friedman

Sleep came slower than a frigid woman.

— Kinky Friedman

I'll keep us out of war with Oklahoma!

— Kinky Friedman

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

— Kinky Friedman

I don't feel bad about losing.

— Kinky Friedman