No matter where you go, you always see yourself in the rearview mirror. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Remember: Y'all is singular. All y'all is plural. All y'all's is plural possessive. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get, — Kinky Friedman Experience Copy Share Image
If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way. — Kinky Friedman Christian Copy Share Image
“He looked like an accountant or a serial-killer type. Definitely one of the service industries.” — Kinky Friedman Serial killer Copy Share Image
If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
On the whole I prefer cats to women because cats seldom if ever use the word 'relationship'. — Kinky Friedman Cat Copy Share Image
You don't accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
This system is really broken. No Child Left Behind has really failed and the only way to solve education is to leave… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
“In April 1933, Willie's mother, Myrle, gave birth to him in a manger somewhere along the old highway between Waco & Dallas.… — Kinky Friedman Management Copy Share Image
I'm also for gay marriage, because I say they have every right to be just as miserable as the rest of us.… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
That's the government. Having been a politician and a musician, I can tell you which one is a higher calling. If musicians… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
My three favorite travel writers of all time are Robert Louis Stevenson, Graham Greene, and Chuck Thompson. Smile When You're Lying not… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
People may surprise you with unexpected kindness. Dogs have a depth of loyalty that often we seem unworthy of. But the love… — Kinky Friedman Blessing Copy Share Image
This is called "spiritual lifting." It's not heavy lifting. The governor of Texas should not be confused with Arnold Schwarzenegger. That's a… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
“We went into Bennie's, where Ratso bought all three newspapers: the Post, which I always read and Ratso hated, The New York… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
But the most dangerous thing in the world in the world is to run the risk of waking up one morning and… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Well, I hate to be the one to take the flyswatter to Tinker Bell, but... — Kinky Friedman Bells Copy Share Image
William Bennett is my patron saint, one of them. Redd Foxx is another. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
The main health hazard in the world today is people who don't love themselves. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
If you're lookin' for a helpin' hand, try the one at the end of your arm. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Sometimes performing someone else's song is more difficult than writing your own. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
If you're paranoid long enough, sooner or later you're gonna be right. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
