I've got a head of hair better than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you. — Kinky Friedman Hair Copy Share Image
My definition of an artist is anyone who's ahead of his time and behind on his rent. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I don't see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the best way… — Kinky Friedman Best way Copy Share Image
If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95! — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
The people I respect all died broke and despairing. They didn't leave a lot of hammered iron behind them like Donald Trump… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship — Kinky Friedman Art Copy Share Image
Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I'm well aware that the Nelson Mandelas and the Winston Churchills of the world happened by accident. They usually come out of… — Kinky Friedman Accidents Copy Share Image
In six days the Lord created the heavens and the earth and all the wonders therein. There are some of us who… — Kinky Friedman Earth Copy Share Image
On the whole I prefer cats to women because cats seldom if ever use the word 'relationship'. — Kinky Friedman Cat Copy Share Image
You don't accomplish much by swimming with the mainstream. Hell, a dead fish can do that. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
This system is really broken. No Child Left Behind has really failed and the only way to solve education is to leave… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Yes, I'm a Judeo-Christian. Jesus and Moses are in my heart, and... both of them were independents, by the way. — Kinky Friedman Christian Copy Share Image
“He looked like an accountant or a serial-killer type. Definitely one of the service industries.” — Kinky Friedman Serial killer Copy Share Image
If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Politics is the only field in which the more experience you have, the worse you get, — Kinky Friedman Experience Copy Share Image
You've got to find what you love and let it kill you. I don't think any of us should ever forget that. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Whether your destination is heaven or hell, you always have to change planes in Dallas. — Kinky Friedman Dallas Copy Share Image
“Politics is the only field of human endeavor where the more experience you have, the worse you get.” — Kinky Friedman Experience Copy Share Image
The system is not perfect. Until it's perfect, let's do away with the death penalty. — Kinky Friedman Death Copy Share Image
I just want Texas to be number one in something other than executions, toll roads and property taxes. — Kinky Friedman Property Copy Share Image
I want to fight the wussification of the State of Texas. I want to rise and shine and bring back the glory. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
No, nothing has changed in my life at all, and nothing would change if I had millions. — Kinky Friedman Change Copy Share Image
And I think musicians can better run this state than politicians. And, hell, beauticians can better run the state than politicians. — Kinky Friedman Hell Copy Share Image
I'm going to lower the drinking age to eighteen. If you're old enough to die in Iraq, you're old enough to drink. — Kinky Friedman Age Copy Share Image
I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for… — Kinky Friedman Childhood Copy Share Image
The good teachers are bailing out. Education is very important… This should be the centerpiece on the table of Texas. — Kinky Friedman Bailing out Copy Share Image
Inspiration thing is important, to teach the kids that JFK is not an airport, RFK's not a stadium, Martin Luther King ain't… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I suffer from the curse of being multi-talented. There's no doubt about it. Politics and literature have gotten in the way of… — Kinky Friedman Books Copy Share Image
Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
All my adult life I've been in the practice of giving advice to people who are happier than I am. — Kinky Friedman Adult life Copy Share Image
We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing. — Kinky Friedman Autographs Copy Share Image
Musicians can run this state better than politicians. We won't get a lot done in the mornings, but we'll work late and… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Like most of us, I determined that I'd rather be a large part of the problem than a small part of the… — Kinky Friedman Determined Copy Share Image
These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books… — Kinky Friedman Around the world Copy Share Image
You have to work at it if you want to be a good smoker. Especially today with all the non-smoking world constantly… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I rarely meddled in the cat's personal affairs and she rarely meddled in mine. Neither of us was foolish enough to attribute… — Kinky Friedman Affair Copy Share Image
