I don't believe in carrying a weapon. If somebody wants to shoot me, he'll have to bring his own gun. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books… — Kinky Friedman Around the world Copy Share Image
Like most of us, I determined that I'd rather be a large part of the problem than a small part of the… — Kinky Friedman Determined Copy Share Image
The good teachers are bailing out. Education is very important… This should be the centerpiece on the table of Texas. — Kinky Friedman Bailing out Copy Share Image
I'm going to lower the drinking age to eighteen. If you're old enough to die in Iraq, you're old enough to drink. — Kinky Friedman Age Copy Share Image
I don't remember the first half of my life. All I say is a happy childhood is the worst possible preparation for… — Kinky Friedman Childhood Copy Share Image
All my adult life I've been in the practice of giving advice to people who are happier than I am. — Kinky Friedman Adult life Copy Share Image
I suffer from the curse of being multi-talented. There's no doubt about it. Politics and literature have gotten in the way of… — Kinky Friedman Books Copy Share Image
Cuban cigars is a big expense because I do smoke a lot of them, eight to 12 a day, so that would… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Inspiration thing is important, to teach the kids that JFK is not an airport, RFK's not a stadium, Martin Luther King ain't… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I've always said money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I came from an upper-middle class home, which is always a hard cross for a country singer to bear. — Kinky Friedman Bears Copy Share Image
If you're patient and you wait long enough, something will usually happen and it'll usually be something you don't like. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I am not anti-death penalty, but I'm damned sure anti-the-wrong-guy-getting-executed. — Kinky Friedman Death penalty Copy Share Image
People are drooling for the truth. They want honesty from politicians, and they're not getting it. — Kinky Friedman Drooling Copy Share Image
I've achieved many of my dreams, and I want to see that some others get a chance to, especially younger Texans. — Kinky Friedman Chance Copy Share Image
I believe that voices like Ross Perot (search), Pat Buchanan, Ralph Nader should be heard. They don't have to be president. Give… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
We're all worm bait waiting to happen. It's what you do while you wait that matters. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
When a stray animal crosses your path, it may be as close to God as you're going to get in this lifetime. — Kinky Friedman Animal Copy Share Image
I don't think I have even achieved fame. Of course, Hemingway says that fame is death's little sister. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
The only currency I value is the coin of the spirit. That's very important in my life. — Kinky Friedman Currency Copy Share Image
There's a fine line between fiction and non-fiction and I think I snorted it somewhere in 1979 — Kinky Friedman Fiction Copy Share Image
I'm well aware that the Nelson Mandelas and the Winston Churchills of the world happened by accident. They usually come out of… — Kinky Friedman Accidents Copy Share Image
In six days the Lord created the heavens and the earth and all the wonders therein. There are some of us who… — Kinky Friedman Earth Copy Share Image
The art of writing fiction is to sail as dangerously close to the truth as possible without sinking the ship — Kinky Friedman Art Copy Share Image
Jerry Jones and Chris Christie are probably the most important latent homosexual relationship since Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I've got a head of hair better than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you. — Kinky Friedman Hair Copy Share Image
My definition of an artist is anyone who's ahead of his time and behind on his rent. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I don't see how the people who created the problem can fix it. Texas is worth fighting for, and the best way… — Kinky Friedman Best way Copy Share Image
If you elect me the first Jewish justice of the peace, I'll reduce the speed limits to 54.95! — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
May the God of your choice bless and keep you. I respect Him as long as He does not circumcise me anymore. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
We've got to clear some of the room out of the prisons so we can put the bad guys in there, like… — Kinky Friedman Bad guy Copy Share Image
“You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't wipe your friends off on a saddle.” — Kinky Friedman Friendship Copy Share Image
The people I respect all died broke and despairing. They didn't leave a lot of hammered iron behind them like Donald Trump… — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
“I have found that in this business, one of the most important things is sincerity. If you can fake that, you can… — Kinky Friedman Business Copy Share Image
I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Finding a cat--or having a cat find you--can change your world as much as marriage, divorce, love, death, or even winning the… — Kinky Friedman Cat Copy Share Image
One thing we are sure of is there's no one like Nelson Mandela out there. That's too bad for us. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
