Apple is apparently building a large solar energy farm in North Carolina. And if there's any justice, the minute they're done building… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I feel things can always be funny, but that's probably because I have some kind of leftover childhood need to make people… — Jesse Eisenberg Copy Share Image
I was always a funny person. I thought I would play some good ball, and the Harlem Globetrotters would see me, and… — Sinbad Copy Share Image
Notes on 'Camp' talks a lot about homosexuality and androgyny and performance and a false seriousness, nit-picking the trivial things and making… — Violet Chachki Copy Share Image
Since graduation, I have measured time in 4-by-5-inch pieces of paper, four days on the left and three on the right. Every… — Sloane Crosley Copy Share Image
I get a lot of responses to my movies. Some people say, 'Oh, I thought it was really funny - I hope… — Noah Baumbach Copy Share Image
“No one cares how long you kept yourself virgin and how loyal you are, everyone is looking for a hole to play… — M.F. Moonzajer Copy Share Image
“She crouched with her hand out. What the hell was she doing… "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty." Oh my God, she was retarded… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
I would walk down the street and people would scream from their cars at me and, generally, I'd turn around and it's… — Eugene Lee Yang Copy Share Image
“I'm one-half Cherokee, one-half Irish, one-half Turkish, one-half Australian and one-half Korean." "Excuse me, but that's five halves," said Maggie.” — Cuthbert Soup Copy Share Image
LOVE, That delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock {John Barrymore}; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“You have no need to worry about me being attracted to you." She moistened her lips. "Because I'm not." Oh yeah? Well,… — Cindy Roland Anderson Copy Share Image
If God were a Kantian, who would not have us till we came to Him from the purest and best motives, who… — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
“Listen, I'd rather lie naked in a plowed field under an incontinent horse for a week than have to read that paragraph… — Diane Ackerman Copy Share Image
Passion and kindness are the most attractive qualities. Sense of humour is up there, but kindness becomes more important as you get… — Roisin Conaty Copy Share Image
“Unexpected Elizabeth wasn’t falling into his arms as he’d anticipated, even after he had acted heroic and been valiantly injured. Perhaps he… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
If you're a woman and a guy's ever said anything romantic to you, he just left off the second part that would… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“He kept one eye on Matt as he talked. He could tell Matt was close to orgasm by the way he title… — Ally Blue Copy Share Image
It's painful for me to watch someone who isn't funny. It's horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who… — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
Let's tell people we voted because of the worldwide financial meltdown rather than the free cup of Starbucks coffee. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Are you, or is someone you know, a gadget freak? If so, you doubtless know that Wednesday was iPhone 5 day, the… — Paul Krugman Copy Share Image
“All right," Shannen says slowly, tucking a lock of dark brown hair behind her ear. "Why did you glue that dolphin upside… — Tera Lynn Childs Copy Share Image
I wonder what the job titles are at Trojan Condoms? Gap Analyst? Lubrication Assistant? Package Consultant? Lol any ideas? — Brian Zilinek Copy Share Image
Guitarists should be able to pick up the guitar and play music on it for an hour, without a rhythm section or… — Joe Pass Copy Share Image
You need to be funny in a way that people feel like you're trying to make a deeper connection. So that's what… — Drew Magary Copy Share Image
Sean and I are fighting so many cliches, it's funny. But ultimately we just want to play people the songs we wrote… — Kemp Muhl Copy Share Image
“For if it is rash to walk into a lion's den unarmed, rash to navigate the Atlantic in a rowing boat, rash… — Virginia Woolf Copy Share Image
You can't change where you started, but you can change the direction you are going. It's not what you are going to… — Napoleon Hill Copy Share Image
[In Moscow] we got through to [Soviet leaders] Brezhnev and Kosygin on the telephone. I think it was because nobody had ever… — Ross Perot Copy Share Image
Begin to act from your dominion. Declare the truth by telling yourself that there is nothing to be afraid of, that you… — Ernest Holmes Copy Share Image
For what we think and feel and are is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and… — Aldous Huxley Copy Share Image
It's funny - Frankie Valli's story and that advice that he was just getting from, you know, Christopher Walken's character, is very… — John Lloyd Young Copy Share Image
“Cassian, I think, would also savour the opportunity to shred their entire court to pieces. Starting with my parents. Maybe I'll let… — Sarah J. Maas Copy Share Image
It's funny, actually... a few clubs called when I was in preseason with Hull in 2017, but I wasn't really that interested.… — Andrew Robertson Copy Share Image
I'm thankful enough or blessed enough to be able to say that Miles Davis was a friend when he was alive, and… — Prince Copy Share Image
I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as… — Joe Rogan Copy Share Image
I wouldn't have been born if my parents had stayed in China. Which is kind of funny. But it also just kind… — Bowen Yang Copy Share Image
I never did anything, great or small, without obtaining in advance express instructions from Adolf Hitler or any of my superiors. — Adolf Eichmann Copy Share Image
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams. — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
“The great thing about writing fiction is that you can do whatever the fuck you want, go as far as you are… — Richard Denney Copy Share Image
![“[In Moscow] we got through to [Soviet leaders] Brezhnev and Kosygin on the telephone. I think it was because nobody had ever tried to call them at home before.” quote by Ross Perot](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/872/ross-perot-10054_brezhnev_in-moscow-we-got-through-to-soviet-leade_2636462.jpg)
