Actually the hardest films to make are comedies. In normal life, funny things happen by accident; to re-create those by design in… — Takashi Miike Copy Share Image
“When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service….that's no chocolate on… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
It's funny, in some of the interviews I've seen that were done for the film, some people say things like, 'Oh, I… — Jim Woodring Copy Share Image
It should not be an act of social disobedience to light a cigarette. Unless you're actually a doctor working at an incubator. — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
If you don't know what it is you're looking for you're NEVER going to find it. You have to be clear on… — Germany Kent Copy Share Image
So OK, it's your special big Four-O birthday But don't expect me to be obsequious and fawning You, being you, can't possibly… — John Walter Bratton Copy Share Image
Somewhere around the place I've got an unfinished short story about Schrodinger's Dog; it was mostly moaning about all the attention the… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“It's airline policy not to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. Use the indefinite article. A dildo. Never your dildo.… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
“I don't care." - Bakura "I'm not going to kill you, just destroy you a little. Geez, talk about overreacting!" - Marik… — Little Kuriboh Marik and Bakura Copy Share Image
Flea markets are fun because they are the ultimate treasure hunt. Be open to the fact that you never know what you'll… — Lara Spencer Copy Share Image
There were a lot of R&B groups that were my heroes, but the funny thing about my career and the way it… — Frankie Valli Copy Share Image
Friends: ask you why you're crying? Best friends: Already have a shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Democrats lead in all the polls by at least ten points, except one.. Fox News. That is with a margin of error… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Thinking about the first person ever to get drunk. People must have been like, COME QUICK! JEREMIAH HAS BEEN STRICKEN WITH AWESOME! — Kendrick Cole Copy Share Image
GROUP:INSULTS TEXT: It's funny when the dumbest, most selfish, childish person you know, tells people to Grow up they must know that's… — Varsha Sharma Copy Share Image
Some people say If you cant beat them, join them. I say If you cant beat them, beat them, because they will… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Every writer since the beginning of time, just like other people, has been afflicted by what a friend of mine calls — William Styron Copy Share Image
According to a brand new report, alcohol abuse in Ireland is on the rise. Mainly because the guy who didn't drink now… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Victoria Beckham looks like she has a dump once every four years. That's probably how David knows that there's a World Cup… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
The Democrats believe that if God did not want them to raise taxes, He would not have created the Internal Revenue Service. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Doing funny scary is something that is rarely good and rarely works, and it's also something that's incredibly hard to market. — Kevin Bacon Copy Share Image
“Evan nuzzled his chin into the crook of Dan's neck, finding the spot that always made Dan squirm and laugh. "I love… — Kate Sherwood Copy Share Image
I been seeing newspapers every Sunday morning, white dudes be in there in their drawers, never having no bulge in they drawers.… — Eddie Murphy Copy Share Image
“I had to admit it was adorable. You know, in a unicorns-farting-out-rainbows kind of way that made me want to hurl.” — Gemma Halliday Copy Share Image
Q: Do you like football? A: I'm a cheerleader so I have to watch football and I like it. My one and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called "LinkedIn." — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share Image
It's a funny thing about rap, that when you say 'I' into the microphone, it's like a public confession. It's very strange. — Zadie Smith Copy Share Image
My father fought in World War I and single-handedly destroyed the Germans' line of communication. He ate their pigeon. — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
All I care about is that people who like me think I'm funny. I get on with writing pretty straight-down the line,… — Giles Coren Copy Share Image
“Something can be humorous without being funny. The difference is when it’s humorous, a person says, “That’s funny,” and when it’s funny,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
Comedy is a tool of togetherness. It's a way of putting your arm around someone, pointing at something, and saying, 'Isn't it… — Kate McKinnon Copy Share Image
Facebook is like a fridge. When you're bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything… — Aicel Copy Share Image
In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?"… — Henny Youngman Copy Share Image
“Mrs. Winalski owned a candy-apple-red 1965 Mustang GT convertible, and she drove it like she could die at any minute and needed… — Lish McBride Copy Share Image
“The poor Sufi dressed in rags walked into a jewelry store owned by a rich merchant and asked him, "Do you know… — John Green Copy Share Image
They're working their way down. Next year, Todd Bridges gets the award. When I was a kid I wanted to be Eddie… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Marriage is like a public toilet. Those waiting outside are desperate to get in & those inside are desperate to come out... — Azgraybebly Josland Copy Share Image
I love women. They're the best thing ever created. If they want to be like men and come down to our level,… — Mel Gibson Copy Share Image
Ladies and gentlemen thank you for flying xyz airlines, we hope you enjoyed your flight as much as we enjoyed taking your… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
