A few years ago he had a big heart transplant in Chicago, a five-hour operation. It took the doctors four hours to… — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
It's a funny thing - when I'm crazed with work, spending time with my children relaxes me. Yet, at the end of… — Emily Giffin Copy Share Image
It is a funny thing to step on stage and wear beautiful clothing and lots of makeup and stand in front of… — Laufey Copy Share Image
Famous designers think nothing of putting their names on your clothing, but would have the servants set the dogs on you if… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I do think I am funny, or I wouldn't be where I am today. I do think there is always room for… — Dane Cook Copy Share Image
“Let’s go to that Jamaican place around the corner from you.” “Cluck You Chicken? Are you serious? The health department probably uses… — Mary Ann Rivers Copy Share Image
“I spread my fingers to peek through them, and I see that Wesley's face is as red as mine. He's looking down… — Cassie Mae Copy Share Image
If you're frightened of leprechauns, the best thing to do is to get yourself a little leprechaun outfit and see how big… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I dont know what it is about the open road that makes it so appealing. Maybe its because when youre headed somewhere,… — Steve Hofstetter Copy Share Image
I have way more freedom in Los Angeles and in the U.S. But it's funny because when I have a meeting with… — Eugenio Derbez Copy Share Image
A person with no children says, "Well I just love children," and you say "Why?" and they say, "Because a child is… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
“2 - Listen In Eavesdropping, Seriously? Acting like you’re the main character, You have nothing to go on, Grow the fuck up.” — Apollo Blake Copy Share Image
“As the middle child of the Laurel Canyon Adams Family, Whit was surprisingly chill on the subject of ampire-vays.” — M. Beth Bloom Copy Share Image
“GOD. Sometimes I think there might be a god out there, and that every once in a while he tunes in to… — Suzanne Morrison Copy Share Image
A policeman stopped me and said: Would you please blow into this bag, sir? I said: What for, officer? He said: My… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
“Python opened his eyes. "What do you want?" "To sing you songs about my awesomeness!" "Oh, please. Just kill me now." "Okay!"… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
People say there's delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years, a… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
