Im a little angel...short and sweet...dont piss me off or your ass will get beat!!! — Ana Chable Copy Share Image
Occasionally even young children should listen to the sword can not work hand and hand sword can not work — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
Dear shirt, I fell in love with... I hate you. Sincerely, just saw the price tag. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Anytime I have a hammer in hand,things all around me start to look like nail — Ace Kid Copy Share Image
I know you've been looking at porn if you're staring at the Google homepage when I walk in. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Every man has one thing he can do better than anyone else and usually its reading his own handwriting. — G Norman Collie Copy Share Image
It's funny, each time you come back to a tournament you start to feel more and more welcome. It gets familiar. That… — Alex de Minaur Copy Share Image
I used to write out of angst. My writing was quite miserable, quite angry, even when it was funny. It was based… — David Thewlis Copy Share Image
Dear Mom, How can you hear me mumble under my breath, but you cant hear me yell, WHAT? when you scream my… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Unless someone wants to look funny, I'll not recommend anyone to copy my bowling action. But on a serious note, with the… — Virat Kohli Copy Share Image
I watched a lot of silent directors who were absolutely great like John Ford and Fritz Lang, Tod Browning, and also some… — Michel Hazanavicius Copy Share Image
The funny thing is I have known AJ Lee. She started in New Jersey; I worked in New York. We have crossed… — Zelina Vega Copy Share Image
There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good stories about (Syracuse); this is… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Sorry, I cant hangout. My uncles cousins sister in laws best friends insurance agents roommates pet goldfish died; maybe next time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced. — John Cleese Copy Share Image
When God saves you, he doesn’t do it because you gave him permission. He did it because he’s God. — Matt Chandler Copy Share Image
One of the weaknesses of our age is our apparent inability to distinguish our needs from our greeds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.' — Jeremiah Copy Share Image
If I had a Boy Scout I could make a fire by rubbing his hind legs together. — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
One of the worst things that can happen in life is to win a bet on a horse at an early age. — Danny McGoorty Copy Share Image
Wanna know why they call me Gandy Candy? Cuz' Its Trick-er-treat all year round' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear dad, you always told me that an honest man has nothing to fear, so I'm trying my best not to be… — Frank Abagnale Copy Share Image
Let's spend Thanksgiving spilling food on our clothes, and Black Friday buying new ones. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It may be best to set aside the rest of May to apologize for what you're going to do this Cinco de… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Those from whom nature has withheld taste invented trousers. — Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin Copy Share Image
When I was younger I had everything handed to me on a plate... Soup was a nightmare — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John. — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I was no longer the centre of my life and therefore I could see God in everything. — Venerable Bede Copy Share Image
“The coldest depth of Hell is reserved for people who abandon kittens.” — Robert A. Heinlein Copy Share Image
The only thing I have learned in thirty years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
