Let's spend Thanksgiving spilling food on our clothes, and Black Friday buying new ones. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear dad, you always told me that an honest man has nothing to fear, so I'm trying my best not to be… — Frank Abagnale Copy Share Image
years ago we would have been burned for this. Now what I am suggesting is that we've advanced. — John Cleese Copy Share Image
When God saves you, he doesn’t do it because you gave him permission. He did it because he’s God. — Matt Chandler Copy Share Image
I had a three year relationship end. Ever have somebody just freak out on you in a relationship? Things are going great.… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
You…you got rid of that dress fast," I pointed out between heavy breaths. "I thought you liked it." "I do like it,"… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
I think I was born with a natural way of looking at something and trying to find the ways in which it… — Briga Heelan Copy Share Image
“And I do think it was excessive to hurl him into the canal.' 'He'll float.' The corners of Cecily's mouth twitched. 'It… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“Idiot," I said, before grinning broadly and crushing his mouth to mine. "We need to pick new pet names for each other,"… — Molly Harper Copy Share Image
I gave him a compliment! All right, I told him he probably would've made, like, a really expensive slave in the, like,… — Sarah Silverman Copy Share Image
One small decision can change your life! That's why I always let someone else make my decisions, that way if something goes… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've experienced plenty of times when something I think is funny doesn't do very well. And there are times when something I… — Carrot Top Copy Share Image
One of the weaknesses of our age is our apparent inability to distinguish our needs from our greeds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear shirt, I fell in love with... I hate you. Sincerely, just saw the price tag. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
Occasionally even young children should listen to the sword can not work hand and hand sword can not work — Mak_786 Copy Share Image
Anytime I have a hammer in hand,things all around me start to look like nail — Ace Kid Copy Share Image
I know you've been looking at porn if you're staring at the Google homepage when I walk in. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Every man has one thing he can do better than anyone else and usually its reading his own handwriting. — G Norman Collie Copy Share Image
I feel like I have a hangover, without all the happy memories and mystery bruises. — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
Dear McDonald's Cashier, Don't give me that look... Last time I checked, there was no age limit on Happy Meals. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A theory may be so rich in descriptive possibilities that it can be made to fit any data. — Phillip Johnson-Laird Copy Share Image
Pessimist: One who has been intimately acquainted with an Optimist. — Elbert Hubbard Copy Share Image
It's funny how life works. You end up sometimes back where you started. — Karl Iagnemma Copy Share Image
“I’m going to strip my way through plumber’s school. What do you think of the stage name Fine-Ass Frankie?” — Rebecca Murphy Copy Share Image
“Don't let your teeth make you lose respect by permanently keeping them opened for the sake of being friendly.” — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
I'm [going] through a mystified period of my life, where the more I learn, the less I know. — Jean Louis Copy Share Image
Mom: Stop lying to me! Me:Tooth fairy, easter bunny and santa *walks away like a boss* — Brookie Copy Share Image
“I said alone!” He nodded in agreement. “Aye, you usually say that, and I still stay. It’s our way.” — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
May your Halloween be scarier than what's actually going on with our country. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I knew nothing about farce until I read Puce a l'Oreille, and had no idea what a deadly serious business it is. — John Mortimer Copy Share Image
![“I'm [going] through a mystified period of my life, where the more I learn, the less I know.” quote by Jean Louis](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/845/jean-louis-51089_answers_i-m-going-through-a-mystified-period-of_2618007.png)
