For each time you smile you will find it's true somebody, somewhere, will smile back at you. — Helen Steiner Rice Copy Share Image
Until now they have refused to do battle with us. They are just going places. — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
You're a part of me. I'm a part of you and we are all a part of this great nothingness. — Frederick Lenz Copy Share Image
My level of sarcasm is to a point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
While we wait for God to work for us, God is waiting to work through us. — Rick Warren Copy Share Image
The inspiration for my Vines comes from thinking about funny and relatable experiences from my daily life. — Lele Pons Copy Share Image
My dad is really funny, and I have a strong memory of being proud that he could make a room laugh, but… — Rebecca Front Copy Share Image
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
I had been asking the universe and God to send me a way for me to help me. Show business has been… — Louie Anderson Copy Share Image
“He laughs. "Put some clothes on so you don't scare poor Kiara with your morning hard-on." I look down at my shorts.… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
Dear teacher, its not fair to put all the smart kids into one group, sincerely failing and in need of the grade. — Drew Fonner Copy Share Image
They say Dont' drink and drive . Well … Yesterday I was drinking a Juice box While riding my Tricycle . Yeah . Im a Badass !!! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The biggest mistake to most people Listen to half of the conversation Understand the quarter Speak all the time.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
One of the funny lines that Daniel Bryan said in a promo is that he made fun of me for driving in… — Mustafa Ali Copy Share Image
The funny thing about stop signs is that they're also start signs. — Maureen Johnson Copy Share Image
Just realized the tooth fairy teaches us to sell our body parts for money! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't need to know everything, I just need to know where to find it, when I need it — Albert Einstein Copy Share Image
Should not the Society of Indexers be known as Indexers, Society of, The? — Keith Waterhouse Copy Share Image
Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children. — J. Paul Getty Copy Share Image
I wish we can just send our homework to teachers so we dont get the lecture at class — Noorullah Habibzoi Copy Share Image
A priority is observed, not manufactured or assigned. Otherwise, it's necessarily not a priority. — Merlin Mann Copy Share Image
Its funny how you can tell when someone likes someone else, but you cant tell when someone likes you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, HENPECKED, A man who is so timid, he is even afraid to talk back to other people's wives — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A sign of intelligence is to see the One in many and find the many in One. — Sri Sri Ravi Shankar Copy Share Image
Priapism is what happens when someone gets strangulated to the point of hypoxia. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There's no such thing as legacies. At least, there is a legacy, but I'll never see it. — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
If there is no absolute by which to judge society, society is absolute. — Francis Schaeffer Copy Share Image
Not all detectives are the same - some play bad cop, some are awkward, some are funny. — Juliette Lewis Copy Share Image
In Washington journalists can afford to live almost as well as people who work for a living. — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
