If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The goal is to be the observer of your thoughts and not let your thoughts control you. — Deepak Chopra Copy Share Image
Delete me... Like most of y'all who can't handle what I have to say :') Dont got time for any of y'all. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Reading text messages while half asleep is like looking into the sun. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
“I was even starting to relax—a little—until he took me to his parents' house for dinner. I've never met two people more… — Gena Showalter Copy Share Image
“Lou, honey, I'll buy you a new pair of shoes if you'll stop flashing your panties at everyone sitting across the room… — Ronda Thompson Copy Share Image
“Nix: We're not leaving without her. So unless you want permanent houseguests of the destructive sort, just hand her over.” — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
But its not funny. Not to people who've been told they're losers their whole lives and believe they will never be anything… — Julie Anne Peters Copy Share Image
I asked my mom, 'How old were you when I was born?' My mom replied, '23' Me: 'Wow, that's a lot of… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People wince when something is in bad taste. They laugh when it's funny. If it's too dirty or wrong, they won't laugh.… — Michael Patrick King Copy Share Image
I've developed some deep relationships over the past couple of years blogging and I realize that those relationships manifest themselves in the… — Jason Calacanis Copy Share Image
“JASON: 'Intended wings.' How depressing. MICHAEL: Yes. Makes them into suicides, really, the pigeons. JASON: No - no, it doesn't. It could… — Simon Gray Copy Share Image
I am a little afraid of giving people advice for fear that they might follow it. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when... You hear a joke in someone else's conversation & accidentally laugh. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
We have that Indian scene. We can get the Indians from the reservoir. — Samuel Goldwyn Copy Share Image
You have to change on the inside before change will happen on the outside. — Joel Osteen Copy Share Image
Amiability is very often a weakness, but the most unobjectionable one as a rule. — Sydney, Lady Morgan Copy Share Image
The pyramids themselves, doting with age, have forgotten the names of their founders. — Thomas Fuller Copy Share Image
I recently bought a cat, but took it back a day later because our personalities clashed. — David Mitchell Copy Share Image
Funny, I think that the only reason I'm compared to Prince is because of my skin color. — Velveteen Dream Copy Share Image
We just keep trying to beat every show with the funny stick until it's funny — Dan Povenmire Copy Share Image
Keep your friends close and your alcohol closer. Then get drunk and insult your friends. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You know it was a really crazy night if you wake up in your own bed, but end up in a strangers… — Amanda Roberts Copy Share Image
Me: Haha I'm older! Friend:Haha you'll die first! Me: Not if I get my license first and run you over bitch! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hello Darling!This might be the Last message I am sending you……………. 'Coz I got no balance in my mobile. — VinayKumar Copy Share Image
As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboreto is fifth. — Murray Walker Copy Share Image
There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When getting divorced remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Evil influence is like a nicotine patch, you cannot help but absorb what sticks to you.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
