Nurse: A woman that wakes you up in the middle of the night to give you sleeping pills. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My wife just told me, You're fucking idiot considering as she's the only woman I love, then yes, it's a fair assumption. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
God could not be with us every time we need support in our worst times of life, and therefore he made fathers. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every night I keep a pillow under my gun in case a murderer threatens me to a pillow fight. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I'm on my deathbed, the nicest thing anyone can say to me is, You were right about everything. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Rumours? Well at least you're spreading something else besides your legs. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Women. Can't live with them, can't finish this joke without having sex with them & then later sleep on couch. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Two things in life that are difficult to achieve: 1. To plant your idea in someone's head. 2. To plant someone's money… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE CEREMONY, a ritual which should be written (o cut down on divorces) -- by adding a line to the groom's questions… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. Like this Bible. It cost 15 bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everybody's a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls go to the party, go home, then go to bed. Bad girls go to the party, go to bed and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's just something wonderful about a cold, clear winter morning that makes you want to slow down and take time to stop… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Children : The child is God's gift to the family. Each child is created in the special image and likeness of God… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No matter how old you are, no matter how bad ass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know what would be fun? To have a set of twins, name them Dumbo and Goofy and then just sit back… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
