Statistically, 10% of women will find this joke offensive. The other 90% are in the kitchen, where they fucking should be! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls wax their floors Bad girls wax their bikini line Naughty girls wax your nutsack — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
So your name is Will, But you don't call your crotch The Willderness, then what the fuck? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you convince me to make me think WHAT THE FUCK you instantly get a retweet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I texted my girlfriend a picture of my flaccid penis. I just wanted to let her know I was thinking about her. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LUXURIES, Items which, by grand design, always cost more -- for example: a divorce decree costs more than a marriage license — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The follower counts should be hidden so we can be fair and judge people only by the quality of their tweets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my fav cake for me, and I learned that the little things… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Here's my idea for another one of those reality-based TV shows: No Survivors! One by one, a psychopathic serial killer tracks down… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Woman say:CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS? Woman means:There is no way I'm going to let any part of your body touch any… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know what would be fun? To have a set of twins, name them Dumbo and Goofy and then just sit back… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
There's just something wonderful about a cold, clear winter morning that makes you want to slow down and take time to stop… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Children : The child is God's gift to the family. Each child is created in the special image and likeness of God… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No matter how old you are, no matter how bad ass you think you are, if a toddler hands you their ringing… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Good girls go to the party, go home, then go to bed. Bad girls go to the party, go to bed and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
Do girls really look at penises and say Wow, I can't wait to put that in my mouth? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share
