Funny SMS: jokes and funny text messages in English and Urdu
Opens with fevered romantic imagery — trembling lips, shaking body, burning skin — then diagnoses the beloved with malaria.
Yeh tumhara sulagta hua jism...
kapkapatay hont....
larkharati Aawaz...
thartharata badan .
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mujhe pehle se shak tha
k tumhain Malaria hai.....
Munnabhai tells Circuit to fetch the neighbor's doctor because he's unwell. Circuit points out Munnabhai is a doctor. He knows — his own fees are too high.
Munna:
Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula k laa,
meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai na.
A blind beggar calls a woman beautiful and asks for money. Husband's verdict: he must genuinely be blind.
A beggar- 'Oh sundari ! Andha hoon.
Sawa paanch rupya de de..
"Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe
sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai..."
A man posts 'need a wife' on Facebook and 140 men jump in to help — not quite in the spirit he intended.
A guy wrote on his facebook status
"wife chahiye "
2 girls likd it & 140 men commented"
meri le jaa"
Guy wrote back
"kameeno, maang nahi raha. pooch raha hon...
Drew your portrait on blank paper and wrote a message underneath it — offering fifty thousand rupees to anyone who finds the 'mentally unbalanced' person pictured.
Koray kaghaz pe likha tera naam hai,
Teri tasveer bana dali or likha ye pegham hai,
"Dimaghi tawazun theek nahi"
dhondnay wale ko 50,000 ka inaam hai ;-)
A romantic SMS about merging hearts and shedding tears for someone — but the real ask is: put your SIM card in my phone first.
Dil say dil mila ker to daikho
hamari yad main ansu baha ker to daikho,
SMS to kia call bhi karaingay,
kabhi hamaray mobile main card dalwa ker to daikho
A wife asks to be taken somewhere to buy something expensive for her birthday — and the husband fulfills the request precisely.
Wife:Bht pyar sey
"Suniye! aj meri birthday ha,
Mujhy koi Mehngi C Cheez Ley K Dain Naa Plz"
Hsbnd: Chalo Tm
Tayyar Ho Jao,
"Hm Cheeni Lenay Chaltey Hy".
An uncle offers a child five rupees for a good lie. The child claims the uncle just promised ten — and collects immediately.
Uncle aik bachay se kehte hain :
beta aik acha sa jhoot bolo agar mujhe
pasand agaya to main tumhien paanch rupay doon ga
bacha masoomiat se : yeh lo ! abhi to das rupay kahay thay .... !!!!
A funny friendship SMS sending a message on a stealth mission to a sleeping friend, ending with a cheeky demand to text back.
Aey mere SMS mere dost ke pass jana,
Agar wo so raha ho to shor mat machana,
Jab wo jage to dhire se 'Muskarana',
Phir kehna "KANJUS" SMS karo!
A Pathan on a bicycle crashes into a woman; she yells about not using the brake. His logic: the whole cycle is already smashed, what's the point now.
Ek pathan Cycle chalaty aur gungunaty
howe kahin ja raha tha rasty mein ek
Aurat se takra betha.
Aurat chilla kar boli
"Break nahi maar sakty thy kia ??? "
Pathan herat se...
"Pora cycle mar deya abhi break mar kar kia faida."
A dare SMS: if you want to impress the world, stand upside down on an elephant, flip the photo, and show everyone.
Agar dunia ko kuch karkay dikhana hay to sun lo........
hathi kai oper ulta kharay hokar photo khichwaoo... ..
phir photo ko ulta karkay dunia ko dekhaooo... Kaisaaaaaaa
A maid consoles her mistress over the husband's alleged affair — then accidentally reveals she has personal reasons to disagree he'd cheat.
naukrani: malkin aap udaas kion hain?
malkin: mujhey pata chala hay k
tumharay sahab ka kisi larki
say chakkar chal raha hay offcie main
naukrani: naheeeeeeen
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sahab mujhai dhoka nahi dai saktay