Quote by Jarod Kintz Download Open image ““There’s a hair in my soup. That’s the problem of using my helmet as a bowl.”” — Jarod Kintz ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.9 out of 5 (10 ratings) Copy quoteShare
“There’s a pubic hair in my soup. I’m pissed, because I paid for many more to be sprinkled on top.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll wear a fork on my head, and if anybody wants a job, they can eat salad off my scalp.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A bulletproof vest under everything else. I couldn’t do anything to protect my head, but at least my hair looked good. I” — Karina Halle Copy Share Image
“I cut my face shaving, and all those little pieces of toilet paper stuck to my chin actually looked great with my butt chin.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ve been trying to figure something out. Why on earth would your ponytail stick straight out from your head?” — Cidney Swanson Copy Share Image
“Did you tell that prospect over there that ‘not a hair’ on my head was to be touched?” “I think I said, ‘not a… — Lauren Gilley Copy Share Image
“I’m just barely scratching the surface. And that surface is broth, so why is the soup itchy?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“bowl. It was disgusting to think that this was what a gumdrop might look like in your stomach, and it was insulting to be… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
