First date Quote by Jarod Kintz

““On our first date, you should wear a maternity dress, because I’m going to try to impregnate you.””

Jarod Kintz

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First date

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“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”

Jarod Kintz

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“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”

Jarod Kintz

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“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…

Jarod Kintz

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“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…

Jarod Kintz

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“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”

Jarod Kintz

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“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…

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“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”

Jarod Kintz

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“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”

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“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”

Jarod Kintz

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“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”

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“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…

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“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…

Jarod Kintz

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“I’m not sure how the ponies happened, though I have an inkling: “Can I get you anything?” I’ll say, getting up from a dinner table, “Coffee, tea, a pony?” People rarely laugh at this, especially if they’ve heard it before. “This party’s ‘sposed to be fun,” a friend will say. “Really? Will there be pony rides?” It’s a nervous tic…

Sloane Crosley

“Three weeks after our first date, I am thoroughly enjoying spending time with Natalia. She is intelligent, friendly, classy and extremely physical. I think…

Sadie Grubor

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“Been here before?” “Once, on a date.” Aidan laughed, and Walker twisted, angling toward him. “Something funny?” “My first date was here,” he confessed,…

Layla Reyne

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A picture I drew of my girl friend from our first date.

Matthew CAmpbell

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“Bobby: So assuming I survive the next 24 hours, where do you want to go on our first date? Kitty: Some place that doesn't…

Jason Aaron

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“You know, you’ve set a really bad precedent for first dates,” I said. “How is anyone ever going to top this?” I turned to him for the first time. He was watching me, not the scenery. “I brought you here because I wanted to see the look on your face when you saw this place.” He smiled, and my heart…

Janette Rallison

“Aren’t you going to ask me what kind of boat I own?” he asked. “Sure. What kind of boat do you own?” “A sailboat.” “That’s nice. The coals are ready. I’ll just dab some herb butter on the swordfish and we’ll be eating in no time.” Travis shook his head at Cat’s lack of interest in the possibilities of sailing…

Elizabeth Lowell

“BACHELOR NUMBER ONE IS A NO-GO, she texted Trish. HE TALKED TOO MUCH. Within seconds, Trish texted back. ISN’T TALKING A GOOD THING ON A FIRST DATE? Of course, Trish was trying to put a positive spin on things. As the happily-married-with-child best friend of a single, thirty-three-year-old woman, it was part of the job description. AS IN, DONKEY FROM…

Julie James

Never wear your hair up on a first date.

Rachel Sennott

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“I opened the front door of my parents’ house the next evening. His starched blue denim shirt caught my eye only seconds before his equally blue eyes did. “Hello,” he said, smiling. Those eyes . They were fixed on mine, and mine on his, for more seconds than is customary at the very beginning of a first date. My knees--the…

Ree Drummond

A perfect date is probably something somewhere where you can kind of communicate and talk to the person. I don't like movies as first…

Selena Gomez

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“ Redneck Rules of Etiquette • To avoid bruising wine as you decant it, make sure to tilt the paper cup. • Your centerpiece should never be prepared by a taxidermist. • When dating (outside the family), always offer to bait your lady’s hook, especially on the first date. • Establish with her parents what time she is expected back.…

Deborah Ford

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First date Quote by Jarod Kintz

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