Shortened Quote by Jarod Kintz

“I’ve shortened this sentence’s length, in order to reduce the need for it. I’ve also shortened my penis (as impossible as that sounds), in order to reduce your reliance on it. Please accept my condolences, and this vibrating piece of rubber.” quote by Jarod Kintz — Download Open image

““I’ve shortened this sentence’s length, in order to reduce the need for it. I’ve also shortened my penis (as impossible as that sounds), in order to reduce your reliance on it. Please accept my condolences, and this vibrating piece of rubber.””

Jarod Kintz

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.4 out of 5 (7 ratings)

More by Jarod Kintz

“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”

Jarod Kintz

Image

“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”

Jarod Kintz

Image

“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…

Jarod Kintz

Image

“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…

Jarod Kintz

Image

“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”

Jarod Kintz

Image

“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…

Jarod Kintz

Image

“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”

Jarod Kintz

Image

“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”

Jarod Kintz

Image

“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”

Jarod Kintz

Image

“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”

Jarod Kintz

Image

“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…

Jarod Kintz

Image

“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…

Jarod Kintz

Image

Explore all 6,921 Jarod Kintz quotes

More Shortened quotes

My sister married an American and took his name, and my brother has shortened Sayrafiezadeh to Sayraf. So now he's Jacob Sayraf, or sometimes…

Said Sayrafiezadeh

Image

Meek Mill - my homies used to call me 'Meek Millions,' and at the time I didn't have no millions, so I ain't really…

Meek Mill

Image

I was looking for a name with an old English sound, very easy to pronounce in every language and easy to remember. At the…

Diego Della Valle

Image

I'm coming out with my line of shoes and my very first shoe is called 'The Nethia.' How we came up with the name…

NeNe Leakes

Image

Black Court vampires. I just shortened it some." Ebenezar tsked. "Blampires. That's the problem with you young people. Shortening all the words.

Jim Butcher

Image

“I married Miss Right, but didn't know at the time she had shortened her name from Righteouspainintheass”

Josh Stern

Image

“Little Dick’ or ‘Big Dick’ depends on how tall Richard is.”

Steven Magee

Image

One of the fellows called me 'Cyclone' but finally shortened it to 'Cy' and its been that ever since.

Cy Young

Image

We then took a shortened version of what we'd been doing in the pubs, with the best gags and things like that, out to…

Neil Innes

Image

Even though it's a shortened format of the game, Twenty20 allows people with different skills to play in a team and play their specific…

Rahul Dravid

Image

Browse all 8 Shortened quotes

Shortened Quote by Jarod Kintz

Related quotes

More by Jarod Kintz

More Shortened quotes