Last night Quote by Jarod Kintz

“If your favorite politician got ran over by a bus, I’d express my condolences by telling you I know how you feel. Why just…

— Jarod Kintz

“I once saw a politician walking a dog, and I thought, “How absurd—an animal walking an animal.” Then I thought, “If given the choice,…

— Jarod Kintz

“There’s nothing special about politicians as people. Now as animals, they’d be extraordinary for their ability to be intelligent enough (barely) to be potty…

— Jarod Kintz

“You didn’t vote? How could you not vote?! You abdicated your responsibility as a citizen at the worst possible time! And now you want…

— Hillary Rodham Clinton

“There’s a faint whiff of feces wafting up my nostrils. But that’s natural, because I just walked past a politician.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I painted my walls yellow, with melted butter, because I recently discovered that I had a popcorn ceiling. It’s this kind of reasoning that…

— Jarod Kintz

“Don’t try to pull the wool over my eyes. You can’t fool an old sheep like me. To prove it, I’ll tell you that…

— Jarod Kintz

“When Americans vote for a particular candidate, they vote for the candidate who reminds them of the kind of person they would have eaten…

— Benjamin Nugent

“In my dream, the passenger seat of my car was a toilet. I guess I was on my way to pick up a politician.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I had a dream about you. You took control of my body and forced me to have sex with you. Then you called the…

— Jarod Kintz

“Every day that I was a candidate for President, I knew that millions of people were counting on me, and I couldn’t bear the…

— Hillary Rodham Clinton

“He sounds like a politician running for office.”

— March Lions