Dean Martin

I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor.

— Dean Martin

When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was big-headed and stuck up,…

— Dean Martin

I take the juice of two bottles of whisky.

— Dean Martin

Your love made it all worth waiting for some like you.

— Dean Martin

I know it's the gentlemanly thing to let the wife file. But, then, everybody knows I'm no gentleman.

— Dean Martin

When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.

— Dean Martin

In a tuxedo, I'm a star. In regular clothes, I'm a nobody.

— Dean Martin

With his blessings from above, serve it generously with love. One man, one wife, one love, through life.

— Dean Martin

“I would rather have a free bottle in front of me than a pre-frontal lobotomy”

— Dean Martin

Love is a flower that blooms so tender, each kiss a dew drop of sweet surrender. Love is a moment of life…

— Dean Martin

Johnny Carson is a comedian who is seen every night in millions of bedrooms all over America...and that's why his last wife…

— Dean Martin

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

— Dean Martin

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant'.

— Dean Martin

Everybody makes mistakes; look at Hitler.

— Dean Martin

Return to me, for my heart wants you only. Hurry home, hurry home, won't you please hurry home to my heart.

— Dean Martin

The reason I drink is because when I'm sober I think I'm Eddie Fisher.

— Dean Martin

Motivation is a lotta crap.

— Dean Martin

There's a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does.

— Dean Martin

I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel…

— Dean Martin

We try to find chemistry; we don't do a lot of situational baseball.

— Dean Martin

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt.

— Dean Martin

Haven't got a girl, but I can wish. So I'll take me down to Main Street and that's where I'll select my…

— Dean Martin

If people want to think I get drunk and stay out all night, let'em. That's how I got here you know I…

— Dean Martin

In order to share intimate feelings, you have to have intimate feelings.

— Dean Martin

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

— Dean Martin