Humor Quote by Hope Barrett Download Open image ““You know it's going to be one of those days when the cat uses the carpet as a bum wipe…”” — Hope Barrett ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.2 out of 5 (5 ratings) Copy quoteShare Humor
“You know your cat is fucking with you when she poops in the litter box and somehow manages to miss the litter.” — Jordan Krumbine Copy Share Image
“Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..." ” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I like to see cats tumble around, but I wish they wouldn’t meow so much when I shove them in the dryer.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I walked up the driveway. The cats were sprawled about, pooped. In my next life I want to be a cat. To sleep 20… — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
“Give me a cat over a kid any day. You can open up a bag of Meow Mix, plop it down on the floor… — Tara Sivec Copy Share Image
“Cats are like walking brooms you can actually comfortably cuddle with.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You look like something the cat coughed up, dragged through dirt, ate, and coughed up again.” — Thomm Quackenbush Copy Share Image
“A car is a couch with wheels. My windshield wipers don’t work, so I’ve decided to stop watering my living room carpet. Honk if… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I AM the current curator of the black trunk and the stories it holds within.” — Hope Barrett Copy Share Image
“Once an opportunist like Mickey, who took the argument when she jumped on some devastated wretch's machine and jackpotted that it was the "cash-ino's… — Hope Barrett Copy Share Image
“THE EMPRESS LO was not beautiful but she was ambitious and, sometimes, ambition can take you further than beauty. The women of the court… — Hope Barrett Copy Share Image
“Somebody’s going to be reading, right? Wrong. They’re FBing. “Doing a Number Two. Maybe I shouldn’t have had those chilli peppers. Hope y’all having… — Hope Barrett Copy Share Image
“For M & B. Should you ever get to read this, to remind you that when life offers you a challenge: rise to the occasion.” — Hope Barrett Copy Share Image
'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy. — Shane Dawson Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants. — Rhoda Janzen Copy Share Image
“...I haven't guessed where your shirt is from yet Bane, but I don't think it'll matter once it's underwater!' Tristan looked at Bane questioningly.… — S.K. Munt Copy Share Image
“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.” — Markus Herz Copy Share Image
“Not wise, perhaps, to be rude to the Pope's favorite son, but my viper tongue still required a fool now and then on which… — Kate Quinn Copy Share Image
In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but… — Luke Evans Copy Share Image
“[S]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once,… — Nora Ephron Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
“ “Do Southerners laugh at different things than Northerners do? Yes, I say--Northerners.” Roy Blount, Jr., Roy Blount’s Book of Southern Humor” — Deborah Ford Copy Share Image