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Best Funny Quotes by W.C. Fields
- I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
- If I had to live my life over, I'd live over a saloon.
- I always keep a supply of stimulant handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy.
- I drink therefore I am.
- It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
- Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.
- All things considered, I'd rather be in Philadelphia
- A thing worth having is a thing worth cheating for.
- I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother.
- I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.
- I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
- Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one.
- Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
- Start every day with a smile and get it over with.
- A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.
- Twas a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank her.
- A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.
More Funny Quotes
- To be free in an age like ours, one must be in a position of authority. That in itself would be enough… — Hannah Arendt
- These are the fifties, you know. The disgusting, posturing fifties. — Hannah Arendt
- I'm literally open to any medium that will have me. — J. J. Abrams
- We must all make peace so that we can all live in peace. — Jean-Bertrand Aristide
- Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies. — Aristotle
- There is no great genius without a mixture of madness. — Aristotle
- I hope to make movies that are so small they don't need to make anything to be profitable. — J. J. Abrams
- I love recording music. — J. J. Abrams
- Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
- Education is the best provision for old age. — Aristotle
- I've had the same friends since I was in kindergarten. — J. J. Abrams
- I also have this incredible love for women. — Kevyn Aucoin