"I've never hit a woman in my life.…" — W.C. Fields
"I've never hit a woman in my life. Not even my own mother."
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W.C. Fields
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188 Quotes by W.C. Fields
W.C. Fields has 188 quotes on this site.
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It…
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious…
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon…
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners…
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy…
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and…
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
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