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Drinking Quotes by W.C. Fields
- Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol.
- I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and the DTs begin.
- Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
- Fields' reply: He'd think I was a sissy.
- I only drink to steady my nerves... sometimes I'm so steady I don't move for months.
- It's quite true I'm not drinking anymore; however, I'm not drinking any less either.
- I never drink water... fish f**k in it.
- The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.
- I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.
- When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.
- I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve.
- I once donated a pint of my finest red corpuscles to the great American Red Cross and the doctor opined my blood was very helpful;…
- Somebody's been putting pineapple juice in my pineapple juice!
- During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.
- Thou shalt not kill anything less than a fifth.
- We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame is always placed on…
- I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
- A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
- Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.
- Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
More Drinking Quotes
- In time of war, soldiers, however sensible, care a great deal more on some occasions about slaking their thirst than about the… — Winston Churchill
- The gods too are fond of a joke. — Aristotle
- Happiness is good health and a bad memory. — Ingrid Bergman
- I dare not drink before a gig because I'll get tired and blow it. So I have to sit drinking tea in… — John Bonham
- When he buys his ties he has to ask if gin will make them run. — F. Scott Fitzgerald
- I've had a hip replacement, I've beaten cancer, I had my hand operation, and I stopped drinking. Something inside of me just… — Eddie Van Halen
- I would like to make a toast to lying, stealing, cheating and drinking. If you're going to lie, lie for a friend.… — Unknown Author
- Resentment or grudges do no harm to the person whom you hold the feelings against. It's like drinking poison and then hoping… — London Mond