"I don't know why I ever come in……" — W.C. Fields
"I don't know why I ever come in here. The flies get the best of everything."
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W.C. Fields
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188 Quotes by W.C. Fields
W.C. Fields has 188 quotes on this site.
A few more worth reading:
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Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It…
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The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother.
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Wouldn't it be terrible if I quoted some reliable statistics which prove that more people are driven insane through religious…
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I drink with impunity...or anyone else who invites me.
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I have been advised by the best medical authority, at my age, not to attempt to give up alcohol.
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How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil'ss Brew. I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon…
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Variant: I was driven to drink by a woman. I am forever grateful, yet I never had the good manners…
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Prayers never bring anything... They may bring solace to the sap, the bigot, the ignorant, the aboriginal, and the lazy…
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I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes.
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All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
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I've been asked if I ever get the DTs. I don't know. It's hard to tell where Hollywood ends and…
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Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
See all 188 quotes by W.C. Fields »
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This is the precept by which I have lived: Prepare for the worst; expect the best; and take what comes.
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Where all are guilty, no one is; confessions of collective guilt are the best possible safeguard against the discovery of…
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Hope is a waking dream.
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My best friend is the man who in wishing me well wishes it for my sake.
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At his best, man is the noblest of all animals; separated from law and justice he is the worst.
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The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances.
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It is best to rise from life as from a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken.
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Those who excel in virtue have the best right of all to rebel, but then they are of all men…
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Education is the best provision for old age.
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If liberty and equality, as is thought by some, are chiefly to be found in democracy, they will be best…
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