Funny Quotes
- I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead. — Woody Allen
- Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. — Woody Allen
- Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. — Woody Allen
- I am two with nature. — Woody Allen
- I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown. — Woody Allen
- Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? — Woody Allen
- The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less. — Eldridge Cleaver
- Too much agreement kills a chat. — Eldridge Cleaver
- If my films make one more person miserable, I'll feel I have done my job. — Woody Allen
- I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. — Woody Allen
- You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change. — John Cleese
- The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip. — John Cleese
- I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. — Woody Allen
- I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. — Woody Allen
- Politics is a highly tribal business. — Nick Clegg
- When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room. — Woody Allen
- Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. — Woody Allen
- America is the only nation in history which miraculously has gone directly from barbarism to degeneration without the usual interval of civilization. — Georges Clemenceau
- My only day off is the day I pitch. — Roger Clemens
- Some day I will be better remembered. — Grover Cleveland
- I'm undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair. — Hillary Clinton
- If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle. — Hillary Clinton
- Showing up is not all of life - but it counts for a lot. — Hillary Clinton
- I like Hillary Clinton a lot. I know her. — Isabel Allende
- Everybody has some dysfunction in their families. — Hillary Clinton