Humor Quote by Bob Saget

The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.

— Bob Saget

I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.

— Bob Saget

Some people rely on rumors and gossip because they are devoid of any original thought.

— Bob Saget

I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they're really…

— Bob Saget

I don't like the negative of reality tv - the 'you're no good, so you have to leave, I choose you, but I thought…

— Bob Saget

If you're hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?

— Bob Saget

A lot of the comedians don't even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.

— Bob Saget

A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.

— Bob Saget

I can't do negative, needy, or narcissistic anymore. Oh wait, I can still do the last one, aw nuts.

— Bob Saget

It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv,…

— Bob Saget

Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that's really what The Aristocrats is based on - what will…

— Bob Saget

I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, 'Radio can wait, take me to the Full House…

— Bob Saget