You should actually tweet everything you do - it's your fucking personal diary not twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Tweet Copy Share Image
Hope you're not allergic to nuts. Cause I'm gonna kick yours up into your throat. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
Oh you're the type of girl that uses your personality as birth control. — Nikhil Saluja Birth control Copy Share Image
Excuse me, Mam there's a hair in my breast.- Me to KFC salesgirl. — Nikhil Saluja Hair Breast Copy Share Image
13 year olds having sex and getting drunk? When I was 13 I was injecting heroin and had committed my 4th murder, Pussies. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
A girl leaves you breathless after sex. The woman leaves you in a coma. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Taking a long time to shower, just cause you like to stand there, under the warm water, doing nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Long time Copy Share Image
We have a weight limit for elevators but not for leggings. Why damn why? — Nikhil Saluja Elevators Copy Share Image
The worst feeling is realizing you have so much to do and you're just not bothered to do anything. — Nikhil Saluja Feeling Copy Share Image
Good girls wear white cotton panties Bad girls don't wear any Naughty girls don't really give a shit — Nikhil Saluja Bad girl Copy Share Image
It doesn't matter how many 'relationship quotes' you Tweet or Retweet, your boyfriend will still cheated on you — Nikhil Saluja Boyfriend Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, What is left of a lover, after the nerve has been removed; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
Some of the greatest quotes, come from the most uncommon of minds. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
If you hate someone and you want to screw their life, introduce them to Twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
When a woman finds a guy who treats them right, they should hold on to him with both legs. — Nikhil Saluja Legs Copy Share Image
Imagine meeting someone who understood even the dustiest corners of your mixed up soul. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Women are like plug sockets. You have to stick something into all three holes before they work. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Failure doesnt mean God has abandoned you¦¦ it does mean God has a better idea! — Nikhil Saluja Failure Copy Share Image
LOVE, What we have in common with the residents of all third-world countries; — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
I wish falling out of the bed was a sport so I could claim to be athletic. — Nikhil Saluja Athlete Copy Share Image
I don't flush the toilet after I poop because I'm really into marketing my brand. — Nikhil Saluja Flush Copy Share Image
I'm no religious man but blowjobs are a great way for bad girls to pay for their sins. — Nikhil Saluja Bad girl Copy Share Image
FASCISM You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Hardly did I know when I met you That we are going to meet often — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The next person who says, Its not the heat, its the humidity will learn that its not my fist, but the impact. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Broken ; heart Copy Share Image
When money grows on trees, you can bet there's a lot of grafting going on. — Nikhil Saluja Corruption Copy Share Image
Don't hold onto the past and make it a burden that you must live with in the future. Move on. — Nikhil Saluja Burden Copy Share Image
When a girl cries, just yell happy things. YOGURT. PILATES. STOP CRYING PLEASE. — Nikhil Saluja Cries Copy Share Image
Before twitter, I used to write all this shit down on Post-It notes and leave them around the city. — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
It's so important to wake up and immediately start starring shit. Stupid Twitter ruined my poo time! — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
During sex I only stick with missionary, I'm afraid to commit to a sex change. — Nikhil Saluja Afraid Copy Share Image
If only forgetting a person was as easy as forgetting why I open the fridge... — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one! — Nikhil Saluja Toilet Copy Share Image
Being at home with loved ones all week has shown me how much I miss my miserable job. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Why are their so many women on twitter? So you are telling me ALL the dishes are done? — Nikhil Saluja Dishes Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just have to erase the messages, delete the numbers and move on. — Nikhil Saluja Erase Copy Share Image
Followers, because calling them The people who are witnessing your failure is too sad. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
My parents used to be happy when I took naps but now they think I'm lazy. — Nikhil Saluja Kids Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the HUNTER says, Goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
