If you act like every other girl, you'll get treated like every other girl — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
If you've ever answered a question with, Google it. Go fuck yourself. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Every time I see 007 get a gadget in an old James Bond movie I'm like, My smart phone has that app. — Nikhil Saluja Bond movie Copy Share Image
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anybody can start today and make a new ending... — Nikhil Saluja New beginning Copy Share Image
I come up with the best ideas when sitting on the toilet then forget them after the flush. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you're not a hater you're probably not thinking hard enough. — Nikhil Saluja Thinking hard Copy Share Image
Wheres the best place for a man to put his checkbook? In his purse right next to his tampons. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My doctor says I should drink 8 glasses of water a day. I wonder how many beers is that equivalent to. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know those tweets that make you think I wish I thought of that? Retweet those. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job and I made my own hours. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
I have learned there is little difference in husbands; you might as well keep the first. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Let me get this straight, I piss my pants, I'm a loser. But if I piss my pants while wearing a diaper,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Come Late And Your Girlfriend Will Say Youre Late. Cum Late And She Will Say Youre Great! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. — Nikhil Saluja Funny Copy Share Image
My wife fell over from stairs & hit her chin on pavement. She's had to have her jaw wired & can't speak… — Nikhil Saluja Marriage Copy Share Image
