Nikhil Saluja

There is always an easy solution to every human problem - neat, plausible, and wrong.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, Something which is called a feast -- unfortunately, sometimes the appetiser is better than the main course;

— Nikhil Saluja

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

— Nikhil Saluja

A setback in life gives you an opportunity to cherish the glory inherent in a comeback to life.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, An event, for the upper middle class, is the only adventure left;

— Nikhil Saluja

Therapist: you should be in a mental institute Me: I'm already on Twitter

— Nikhil Saluja

Ladies : Boobs are like babies; if you don't strap them properly into their carrier, they'll fall out.

— Nikhil Saluja

Me: Your face must turn a few heads. She: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

— Nikhil Saluja

Whenever I'm bored, I go to a bank, yell FREEZE! and spray people with my water gun.

— Nikhil Saluja

Girls don't try to trick me with makeup. It's a waste of both our time.

— Nikhil Saluja

This role playing game is so weird how many followers do I have to gain to get some weapons?

— Nikhil Saluja

Girls over 21 have been through so much drama. All you gotta do is hold the door open for her and she…

— Nikhil Saluja

That awkward moment when you watch an animated movie from your childhood, and finally understand all the dirty jokes.

— Nikhil Saluja

If your girlfriend complains that she's tired of giving you blowjobs, just outsource the work to her sister.

— Nikhil Saluja

Twitter is like life. Sometimes, you have to pretend like you care about some people.

— Nikhil Saluja

Broken hearts, love's deceit, pieces fall down to my feet. Broken promises, love's a lie, puddles form from the tears I cry.

— Nikhil Saluja

Lazy rule: If opportunity doesn't knock on the door today, lay down and wait for him to pass by the next day.

— Nikhil Saluja

If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her.

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, The one person who in an argument, if you win -- you lose;

— Nikhil Saluja

History is full of strong, imposing women. Well, my internet history is anyway.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm happy I didn't belong to generation when people used gun powder to grow guns.

— Nikhil Saluja

Nothing boosts my ego like seeing someone steal my tweet. Please continue doing that.

— Nikhil Saluja

Admit it, once in your life, youve tried to guess someones password & .. you failed.

— Nikhil Saluja

Well son, your mother and I met on Twitter, then later we... NO DON'T LOOK AT HER AVI

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

— Nikhil Saluja

Honey, you're getting Adele. - How I told my Girl friend she's getting fat.

— Nikhil Saluja

Ways of Life : One who lacks the courage to start has already finished.

— Nikhil Saluja

You are brave... when you overcome your fear and help others to do the same.

— Nikhil Saluja

Had the big sex talk with my son. It was a bit awkward but I learned a lot cool things about vaginas…

— Nikhil Saluja

I just asked Siri to give me directions to the nearest mental institute and it redirected me to Twitter.

— Nikhil Saluja

When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to…

— Nikhil Saluja

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

— Nikhil Saluja

70% of the gay population was born that way; the other 30% were just sucked in!

— Nikhil Saluja

Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

— Nikhil Saluja

I love when people do that thing where their upper lip touches their lower lip.

— Nikhil Saluja

Hey friends, remember when we used to keep thoughts to ourselves?

— Nikhil Saluja

I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. In case you Want me to put some words in your mouth.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm not making eye contact because I'm busy playing with my phone.

— Nikhil Saluja

Men with pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They have both experienced pain and bought jewelry!

— Nikhil Saluja

Friends we can't all be amazing and talented at the same time. I mean, except me.

— Nikhil Saluja