Everybody is tweeting from work. No wondering why the world economy is going down the drain. — Nikhil Saluja Economics Copy Share Image
Sometimes I get the feeling that you guys aren't thinking about my tweets all the time. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Wedding dresses are white so the dishwasher will match the oven and the fridge. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Writing a tweet is not like impressing someone. Don't try too hard. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Guys who piss on toilet seats are fucking assholes. You know how I know? Because I'm that fucking asshole. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies, not swallowing is a huge fucking inconvenience. Respectfully, Men everywhere. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm going to finally introduce my GirlFriend to my friends. I hope they don't think she's crazy because she likes to live… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Guys: if one of your homeboys watches Twilight, it's your job as a man to call him a bitch. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I was soooo drunk bro! - me using drunkenness to hide the fact that I like to bang fat chicks. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wish I followed certain people just so I could stop following them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you don't want to be treated like shit then stand up for yourself. Stop complaining and do something about it. — Nikhil Saluja Stand up for yourself Copy Share Image
Sleep isn't cutting it for me anymore I need something stronger — Nikhil Saluja Sleep Copy Share Image
Me: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilized. — Nikhil Saluja Morning Copy Share Image
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I climb up your bathroom window again? — Nikhil Saluja Believe in love Copy Share Image
Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
The sweetest things in life aren't planned..they take you by surprise.! — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
I love it when I catch you looking at my open zip and then you look away.. — Nikhil Saluja Love Copy Share Image
It's all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen. — Nikhil Saluja Being cool Copy Share Image
