For the benefit of those of you who have real jobs and are not involved in the news business, I should first… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The bad news was that the yard contained a dog. A very, very large dog, wide and hairy, like a cross between… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
You know how on the evening news they always tell you that the stock market is up in active trading, or off… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Reporters aren't stupid. We were standing around talking about which of the 900 health-care proposals that nobody's going to accept is that… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Note that both of these papers [the New York Post and the New York Daily News] are big sellers in a city… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Here in the news media, our focus is on speed. When we get hold of some new and possibly inaccurate information, our… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I do not mean to be the slightest bit critical of TV newspeople, who do a superb job, considering that they operate… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
U.S. News Organizations observe the anniversary of September 11 with investigations about the nation's continuing vulnerability to terrorism. First, the New York… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
![“Note that both of these papers [the New York Post and the New York Daily News] are big sellers in a city whose residents like to go around saying they'd never live anyplace else on account of they'd miss the opera.” quote by Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/1b1/dave-barry-222_accounts_note-that-both-of-these-papers-the-new-y_1034535.jpg)
